Hey, I'm Menolly, I'm new here. Before I get to talking, here's a bit about
♥ I'm sixteen, and a senior in high school.
♥ Diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, depression, MPD, OCD, post-traumatic stress disorder, and depersonalization disorder.
♥ I do everything for everyone else.
♥ I've tried very hard since my problems started appearing at the age of seven to deal with them.
♥ I'm on various meds, see a therapist once a week on wednesdays, and such.
♥ Survivor of three.
Okay. So, lately things have been getting worse for me . . . my meds aren't really helping, at all, and I've been having increased lapses in my memory as well as violent tendencies; which isn't like me at all, I believe in peace, love, and cotton candy ice cream. So trust me when I say that it's out of the norm for me to be seriously threatening somebody. There's also been problems with a boy, but honestly that isn't affecting me as much as just living is. I feel so detached, and when I feel real, I'm so overwhelmed with emotions that I can't control them. I've tried being strong, I really have, but I just can't do it anymore.
Last year, a few months before the end of school, I was a vegetable. All I did was sleep and stare at the ceiling. I didn't go to school, I didn't talk, I didn't eat, I didn't do anything. That's when I first got help for the things I'd been experiencing since the tender age of seven. I was put into a mental hospital for the duration of a week and a half during the summer, where I was diagnosed and put on medication. I showed signs of improving, so I was discharged. But now, now . . . it's worse than ever. The hallucinations, the voices, feeling so out of place and not connected, everything . . I'm just a burden to everyone. And no one really cares, I can honestly admit.
No one knows the real me, and no one wants to.
Thanks. I needed a release.
Here's to hoping I see morning.
1. No discussion of suicide or violence. (ie. threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
Post Edited By Moderator (Mazfire) : 10/17/2009 5:11:32 AM (GMT-6)