Breaking apart...

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/16/2009 2:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm 17, a freshman in college, and seriously miserable. I was diagnosed with major depression about 3 and a half years ago, and right now is the worst it's ever been. I'm completely alone here, and I'm breaking apart. I've got no motivation, no drive, no nothing. I don't know why I get up in the morning, and all I really want to do is sleep for the next 50 years. I'm only taking 13 credits this semester, which isn't very many at all, but I'm completely overwhelmed. I had a huge paper due today, but I didn't get it done because it involved going down to the library and doing research. Btw, I also have a severe social phobia. I feel totally worthless all the time, and I don't know who I am anymore. Actually, I don't think I've ever known who I am, but it's only now that it's really bothering me.
 I don't really know what the purpose of posting this is, but I just needed to write something, I guess. Get it out. Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling and complaing.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 10/16/2009 4:12 AM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to HW, LLG.

I am so sorry you are suffering the way you are but you have come to the right place- this is a safe place where people support, advise, sympathise and encourage each other.

You mentioned being diagnosed with depression- are you seeing a therapist or counsellor or taking any meds to help control your feelings? Being a teenager is never easy, but being a depressed one is far worse- you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and like you move in slow motion (thats how I felt).

Could you maybe give us a little more background info so that we know how to best help you? Please take each day one day at a time and give yourself permission to feel worthy of happiness and normality.

Another great site for depressed teens is:

I wish you all the best and hope you stay here with us,

Maz XX

 Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
" Why does society view illness as weakness?" (Montell Jordan)
 'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
-DX:Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Seasonal Depression, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ, Endometriosis,PCOS, Reactive Arthritis, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania,
-Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Prescription pain meds/anti inflammatories.
-Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
-Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14.

Post Edited (Mazfire) : 10/16/2009 6:28:27 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 10/16/2009 4:22 AM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to HW! I am sorry to hear what you are going through. It sounds that you have some similar problems as I have. I am 19, and also suffer from severe social phobia which led to me quitting study. And well, it kinda sucks, but fortunately I believe there are solutions.

First of all, do you know that some depression is caused by a lack of serotonins or other hormones? If that is the case, medication can threat it. Even when it is not the case, medication can help to feel a bit better. I started meds a month or so ago, and they didn't make me happier, but they did make the bad days a lot less hard to cope with. If you aren't on meds already, and are open for it, you might want to talk to a doctor or a psychiatrist. Do you see someone to help you with depression? If not, maybe you could give it a try. It can help a lot to have someone to talk to and to take advice from.

In fact, talking can help a lot I've found out. Do you have any friends that you trust, or some local support group? There are a lot of people out there that want to help you, but they won't until they know something is bothering you. So opening up to the right people can lead to finding support to do the daily stuff you need to do. If you don't know any, there are a lot of nice people here, so you could start here.

One last thing I'd like to say, your happiness is the most important thing there is. Have you considered skipping this year to seek intensive help? Though there are a lot of people out there that will suggest that school is all important, I believe being happy is way more. And if school is too hard to at the moment, there are other options available. Again, something a doctor can help you with.

All the very best, and take care :-)
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/16/2009 5:51 AM (GMT -6)   
hi llg. depression is a rugged thing. when i was at uni i was given extra time for papers and other academic support. speak with your course counsellor, i am sure you will be given the assistance that you need. take care of you, okay. i am back in the academic circle, been 9 years though. my compassion and support. let me know if i can be of help. jamie, male 37. an old man!!
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder. ps i admire your courage in posting, keep being couragous.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 10/16/2009 9:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

I wanted to welcome you to the depression forum. It sounds like you got a lot of good advice here. That is wonderful.

It is hard functioning with phobias. But the library is a safe place. It is usually quiet and you can get your thoughts in order. So next time give it a try. Hopefully you will get past the fear and be able to study there. Take advantage of the options that are there for you. Use them.

I hope that you can see a doctor and get on some meds to help you. You will find life is a lot easier that way. It took me a long time to find the right meds. And it can be frustrating, but I think they will give you something for anxiety. Speaking of that, we do have a wonderful anxiety and panic forum that you might want to check out with your anxiety issues.

But we are happy to have you here and I hope that the advice that you got was helpful. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen.

PS Jamie, 37 is not old. I am 50. Wishing I was 37 again. That was one of my best years. lol...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/16/2009 1:17 PM (GMT -6)   
feel old, been awake all night, again!! just washed out. have a lot going on in my mind. will post later. thx. jamie. nice w/e to all.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 10/16/2009 5:47 PM (GMT -6)   

I am sorry for houw you are feeling. I hope that you feel better soon.

Many hugs,

  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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