How to tell my husband the depression isn't gone?

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/16/2009 8:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,

I'm new to this website and I have a problem I'd like to just put out there for some advice.
I've had depression/OCD/Anxiety for 13 years now but was only diagnosed and started therapy one year ago. When I started therapy I had a really bad depressive episode for a couple months until I started sertraline and made progress in therapy. I was only in therapy for 7 months and only on the meds for 5 months before I felt much better and thought I was cured. Throughout this time my husband (who was my fiance at that time) was very supportive although he was incredibly worried because he's never been through anything close to that experience before. (He's had a really happy life with not many negative experiences in general)

Last year my husband told me about the fact that his dad had gotten a divorce from his first marriage because his wife had depression which she wasn't able to cure/fix/get under control. And that was why my husband didn't want his parents to know about my depression at all. He also told me that when my depression came out he had to think long and hard about whether or not he still wanted to marry me. He said if I would always have depression he couldn't stay with me.

Lately I've been depressed again for no apparent reason. I just get really sad and really down and go back to places in my mind I was last year. I went back on my antidepressants but I haven't told my husband yet. I'm also thinking about going back to therapy but I'm afraid to tell my husband because I don't know how he'll react to the fact that I'm not "cured" and that I'm not so sure I ever really will be "cured".

Is depression even curable or is it something you just have to deal with for the rest of your life??

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41844
   Posted 10/16/2009 9:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sweetie,

Welcome to the forum. I think it would be best to be honest with your husband and let him know that you are seeking help. But that is totally up to you.

This might not be easy, it may take a while to find what is right for you. He saw the bad sides of depression with his mother, he might not see that with you. In fact, have him go to one of your therapy sessions with you and let the therapist know ahead of time of course. He can see that you are trying that you have a good therapist (I am assuming). Be honest honey, don't hide it. If you keep trying to hide it, you will only get more depressed.

You have us behind you, so don't be afraid. If you want to wait to get more responses, do so, there could be even better ideas for you. LIke educate him. His mother might not have had the proper medication and he could have seen some scarey things. Not everybody is the same when they are depressed. She might have been very manic, or very mean. I don't know. But you can get through this, we will help you. Keep your faith.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 19942
   Posted 10/17/2009 5:43 AM (GMT -7)   
agree with karen. education is key. depression is a medical condition, would he not marry you if you had severe diabetes, alike me, or if you sight or hearing was failing, etc, etc. understand what karen is saying, albeit in sickness and health!! keep strong and know that we are here for you. you are no 1 so see your doc and resume therapy, this way he can see that you are trying real hard to manage this situation. admire your courage in posting, keep being it!! jamie. healings
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/17/2009 12:49 PM (GMT -7)   
i have suffered from anxiety and depression for half my life...i will say this i have never woke up in the mornings and said to my self...hmmm today would be a good day to cry and be not want anyone to talk to me.,,and not talk to any one,,,or touch me...stay under the covers the whole day, not eat i could go on and on right to being suicidal.....ect ect ect....i dont ask for this and yes either do the people around me but i do make and effort i try meds and if they are not working i do research and ask my doc for perhaps something neww....i go to therapy as well....if my partner did not understand....he would not DESERVE ME.....depression is no different if i was in a weel chair....i would imagine there are ok good days and bad days with that...why should all my wonderful qualities be squashed by my handicap....move on if he is that incredibly insensitive and non supportive....we are humans too.....i hate my depression,,,but i love myself

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 10/17/2009 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Just be upfront with him.If he don't want to be with you anymore HIS LOSS!!!!

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