guilt about immature and irresponsible behavior

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 10/18/2009 3:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone,
I have posted on this site several times in the past. I am an alcoholic with about 3-4 weeks of sobriety. Grew up in an alcoholic home. When I was in grade 10, about 15 years old, my father got me a job at a local grocery store as a stock boy. It was a great job since the pay was good. My dad stuck his neck out for me by asking the manager for the job. I worked at it for a while but then began to call in sick and come up with other false excuses for being unable to show up for my shift. The truth was I wanted to be with my friends out drinking on a Friday or Saturday night instead of out in a parking lot putting groceries into customers' cars. I admit that I dropped the ball. I was so immature and irresponsible. Two guys I know from my high school worked at the same job for years and did well since there were often pay increases. I have written extensively on this site about the anger and resentment I hold towards my parents for not helping me with my university education. I will never know if I would have been able to save enough money for tuition, housing etc. if I had continued with the job  until I graduted from high school. I feel guilty since I know of so many other people who DID suck it up and do the job, whatever it might have been to earn money for their future university studies. My two older brothers never worked during high school and had no problems paying for their university education since they were both able to live at home during the school year and in the summer while doing summer work....I feel so terrible about my lack of maturity. I had the same trouble in  university; unable to hold down a part-time job to try and help pay for my tuition, rent... since I was in a difficult program (difficult for me), Commerce, and just could not balance my life-work and school, like so many other students did. I ended up dropping out of university because of financial difficulties on three different occassions, and remember a friend telling me that "working part-time and going to school full-time is not that difficult..." I felt resentful because he was so gifted ( he later won a Rhodes Scholarship), and I did not have the confidence or belief in myself that I could pass my courses while working....

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/18/2009 12:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Try not to feel guilty over past mistakes. Take it one day at a time and do the best that you can. No beating yourself up over it. Just keep trying.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/19/2009 7:47 AM (GMT -6)   
coffee, uni life isn't easy. been there, part time job, rent, books, semester fees, etc. debts after mounting debts, but that is the past. new adventures are happening. i hope for you too. jamie.
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