Hi, I don't feel too comfortable revealing my real name, so you can call me Rory, it's a nick name. Hi! I'm new here..
Am I allowed to be depressed? I hear this tragic stories of rape or abuse or abandonment, and none of that has happened to me.
I just don't feel like i'm allowed to be depressed.
I'm sixteen, and I used to be a very strong and smiley, happy person. But it seems ever since I've moved I haven't been able to find my place.
I mean, I found a great bunch of friends, but i've kind of moved away from them, even though they are super supportive and amazing, and i don't want to lose them, but i don't want to do anything but sit at the computer and waste my time. I eat about
a cup of cereal a day for lunch and then i'm full. I never used to get upset, but if a teacher even asks me a question I'm unsure of, I almost want to burst into tears, in fact the teacher just wanted to talk to me and as soon as she shut the door, I burst into tears.
I push everyone who cares about
me away, but try and run to the people who don't, like this one guy..who is a totally different story..
I used to be in the top classes, never missed an assignment of homework or project but now i really don't care to do my work. And now I am taking on more than i think i can handle, i began nursing courses, and i was so thrilled that i was accepted (which, i have no idea why they accepted me I HAD HORRIBLE grades) but anyways..now every night i sit there till about
one in the morning, crying my eyes out, telling myself how stupid I am and how I can't be a nurse. How can I take care of people, if i can't even take care of myself?
I have a very low self-esteem, and my mom is not helping, she nags me. Tells me constantly how i do not look good, and that i'm gaining weight, etc.
I don't drink or do drugs. I don't like what drinking has done to my family. My dad is an alcoholic, but shh..! He'd rather be with his friends drinking then drive me to the hospital(to volunteer). I do not enjoy going out. If i'm out all i can think about
is going home and jumping on the computer.
I am ashamed of myself. I don't have a boyfriend, I haven't even had my first kiss. I just don't know.
I do sometimes like to think of being dead. I'd be with my favorite person in the whole wide world!
Wow, this is a lot longer than intended to be..
And i'm like in tears now, i'm so ashamed
Please, I need help, any kind, any advice?
If you read this, thank you, I'm at least worth someone's time :]