Recently i have lost a relationship in August. Several times we split mainly of pressures from the pregnancy and our family issues. I have felt completely distraught since the split and forever trying my hardest to move on e.g. joining a football team, upping the hours at work etc. I just feel im at a point where i feel no matter what i do with my friends/family, it only ever temporarily takes the thoughts away from my mind. I do suffer from Depression and have done so for some period of time. I also work as a psychic medium and that does tend to have an effect sometimes.
Almost everyday i feel like im angry at how the relationship has turned out . I feel stupid and angry at myself for how i persistently got my parent involved to deal with my problems . I am 21 years old and do feel i'm to take the blame for what has happened. We had paid for a conversion of a garage into a bedroom to be made in my mum's home for my previous partner to move in. I was excited at the thought of her being with me for the future.
After a short period of time , particularly after her birthday we began to have series of arguments throughout the year and had split up 4 times. I had wondered what was going wrong so many times and felt i was at fault. I am not looking for pity or anything. I just feel at some point i just want to be rescued from this horrid darkness and helped to have some kind of support and aid me to be a good dad.
I have no doubt i will try my utmost best to be a decent dad, but how can i if i'm currently a emotional wreck over current affairs where my previous partner doesn't seem to ask how i am or anything!. I just got mixed feelings all over the place and trying my best to be positive. It takes huge amount of strength to cope with the mess i am in at the moment.
Can anyone help ?