I am not sure what I want to say here. You ask why should you do the best you can in life if you are only going to lose it all and die anyway, Why not? Why not do the best that you can, live, love and try to be happy? Yes, we are all going to die someday. And yes bad things happen to good people. That is life. And life can be wonderful despite the bad things that happen. You can be happy, you need to want to be though.
I noticed in your post that you were assuming that she was going to break up with you, but you didn't know for sure. But you turned to sadness and saw the negative side of every thing. Why be down when you don't know for sure what she was going to say to you? Why take that time, where you could be happy and enjoying something and assume the worst?
Does she know that you are doing self harm? Just answer yes or no, because we aren't suppose to talk about it on the forum. I had to edit a word out of your post because of the rules. But knowing that could be causing her to distance herself from you. Maybe she is worried that you are not stable. Or maybe she realizes that you are depressed and doesn't know how to handle it.
Are you going to any counseling right now? I think you should think about it. It really does help. A lot of us go and usually discuss the progress that we have made from it. How old are you? If you are a teen, there are some sites that you would be interested in. There are also sites for older adults too. Let me know.
I sure hope that you feel better and atain some faith in life. We only go around once, make the best of it. It can be done. And you can do it.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies