Dealing with Eating Disorder-will they send me away?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 11/20/2009 5:57 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been dealing with a disorder for a long time now. It's hard to admit it, but I know I'm bulimic.
I've been going to therapy and I feel better. However, now I'm a little scared/nervous.

Not by choice, I have a doctor appt next week with a regular doctor. I was told they wanted me to come in for an "eating disorder evaluation." I'm shocked. I really didn't think it would end up turning into this...

What will happen during this appointment? Do you think they'll send me to a hospital or outpatient program? Honestly, I just would like some honest answers so I'm not paranoid all week thinking about it..

ALSO, just wanted to add that I lost trust in my counselor. I dont know why they scheduled this without talking with me about it first...

Post Edited (Taryn50894) : 11/20/2009 4:01:56 PM (GMT-7)

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 11/20/2009 6:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Taryn,

I was anorexic in high school, so I hope I can help put things in perspective for you. I understand how you say you lost faith in your counselor since you put a lot of trust in her. I was really angry at my friends for telling my school counselor about my eating habits because he called my parents. But you know, looking back, I'm glad they did because they didn't know how to help me and my mom took me to the doctor. They weighed me, asked me questions about my eating habits and body image. I was scared and embarrassed to answer the questions truthfully because I didn't want to admit I had a problem, so the doctor just thought I was exercising too much and just put me on a diet that would help me gain weight. I wanted to gain weight because I wanted to continue playing sports and I knew I couldn't pass a sports physical if I didn't. So that really saved my life, but I wish I had told the truth because I relapsed in college. I think I really could have used some psychological counseling to get to the reasons for why I developed the eating disorder. So try not to be too angry with people, as they are just trying to help you. There are a lot of major health consequences if you let an eating disorder continue. You may be able to recover without going to an outpatient program, but this option might really be a good thing for you. One road to recovery website that helped me a lot and may be good for you is
There are young and adult people on there who are very positive and can tell you a lot of helpful information about recovery programs.

This doctor's appointment will be a good thing for you. Check back and let us know how you're doing, OK?

Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it. -Tori Amos

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 11/20/2009 7:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Your doctor can only force you into a hospital program if you pose an immediate danger to yourself.  I don't know how bad the bulemia has become for you.  If you have thrown up to the point you have burned a hole in your esophagus, severely damaged your vocal chords, caused infected ulcers in your mouth, etc., it is possible that they could send you straight to the hospital.
But pretty much all doctors would try to find a solution that you would agree to try before forcing you to do anything.  I do get how difficult eating disorders can be.  Like NightWish, I also have had to deal with anorexia in the past.  But I was lucky enough to have a doctor who didn't buy the lies I was feeding him in high school.  I was so FURIUOS that I couldn't just eat whenever I wanted to & not eat whenever I wanted to.  I was, in a sense, lucky that we were able to come up with a program where I didn't have to go in patient.  As long as I ate regularly & put on specific amounts of weight at specific intervals, I was allowed to deal with it on my own.  I got a lot of support -- especially from my workplace where my store manager's wife would bring in muffins everyday & watch me eat them (she was so nice, but I hated those muffins.  they tasted good, but the pressure to eat them was rough.).  My boyfriend supported me by taking me out for large meals & making me eat at least half of the food on my plate (which was still probably more than a full serving because these were HUGE plates of food).  And I had a lot of friends who were constantly celebrating whenever I would hit milestones.
My family was not supportive of me at all.  They thought that the skinnier the better.  Even though I was just 68 lbs. at 5'6", they thought & often told me that I didn't need to be putting on any weight.  That made things hard on me, but I had a lot of support.
The biggest thing that helped was spending a lot less time with sickly thin people & a lot more time with healthy or even overweight people.  There is a lot of research behind why that is, but I won't go into that.  It does help though to surround yourself, especially at meal times, with people who eat healthy proportions & keep them down.  If there isn't any other way you can achieve that, then there are many really wonderful programs out there designed specifically for individuals with eating disorders.  I have had 3 friends who have gone to those over the years & all of them had very, very positive experiences & now can eat healthy without much struggle at all.  If you can, maybe look into some of those programs.  If not, a good behavioral psychologist who runs a support group for eating disorders can be helpful as well.
Please know, though, that this is your life.  It is so important to eat healthy.  Bulemia can cause so many problems -- tooth decay, mouth ulcers, holes/ulcers in the nose & sinus cavity, holes/ulcers in the esophogus, acid reflux, horseness/loss of voice, destruction of vocal cords, difficulty swallowing, choking on saliva, stomach problems -- not to mention all the problems that can develop from not getting enough nutrients -- up to & including organ failure & death.  I know when I was dealing with it that it seemed like it was my body & it was not the big deal that everyone made it out to be.  But it is very dangerous & it is a big deal.  Please do talk to your doctor & get help -- in whatever form is helpful to you.  The sooner you get help, the easier it will be to recover & change your behavior.
I really wish your counselor would have talked to you about her concerns first rather than going straight to your doctor.  I agree that I would have felt very betrayed by that kind of an action.  The evaluation itself is not horrible.  It is pretty much like a physical & a bunch of questions.  They might refer you to a GI specialist if they think the damage might be more serious.  I think you will be surprised how simple it is.  Keep in mind that your doctor is not the one who went behind your back.  S/he really can become your ally.  If you stay calm, are very honest about what your strenghts & struggles are & listen carefully about what options the doctor is presenting, I think you will find it is not that horrible.  If your doctor suggests something you're not comfortable with, ask what other options there are & if you could get a second opinion.  If there's a friend or family member you feel comfortable with, you might consider asking that person to go with you to your doctor's appointment.  Sometimes that can also help to show that you are not alone in trying to deal with bulemia & that you might be able to face it on either an outpatient or individual basis, with a minimal amount of support from a counselor/psychiatrist/doctor.
I hope that helps you some.  I don't want you all worried about the evaluation.  It is important, very important, to beat the bulemia, but it doesn't have to be an awful experience where you have absolutely no say whatsoever in the matter (unless you are to the point of life-or-death & even then you might be able to have some input on where & how often you go for treatment).
Please know that we are all here to support you.  Let us know how things go.
hugs & peace,

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 11/20/2009 8:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Frances and Nightwish,

Thank you both so much. I really appreciate your honesty and insight. I just worry that my parents will find out. I don't want to deal with insurance.
They were supportive at all when I started going to therapy, so this on top of that would be torment.

I will try and keep an open mind. I am still disappointed that this was totally sprung on me, though.
Thank you

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/20/2009 9:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Taryn,
You have obviously got some wonderful input from nightwish and frances.  They both gave you a ton of great information. 
Taryn, this is about you and your health.  If your parents find out, I don't think should matter as much as you getting help for yourself.  They will see that you have taken initiative in a situation and you are taking care of it yourself.  This whole ordeal will make you stronger.  You may have to let insurance pay for this, there may be a program that they want you to go to.  Or more doctor's appointments to keep track of how you are doing.  But then again, you might have to only continue seeing your therapist.  Either way, don't be scared.  This is truly important right now.  It is an issue that you really do need to deal with and you will be much more healthy in the end.  So I really hope that you see your doctor and continue to see your therapist through all of this. 
Keep coming here for support, we all really do care about you.  Things will work out okay for you.  I promise, just keep being honest and keep trying.  We are all here for you.
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 11/21/2009 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
You could ask your doctor's office how it will be coded, but my guess is that the bill would be the same as if you were going in for a checkup.  If that's the case, just tell your parents that you were sick & needed to see the doctor.  I can't remember how old you are & that will play into it.  But I was in high school when I was dealing with the anorexia & since my pediatrician remembered how horrible my mom was with him a couple years prior when he first broached the topic, he decided we didn't need to get her involved again.  I was 16 & could drive myself to the doctors.  The only thing he was really concerned about was making sure I had other people in my life who could support me.
If you are an immediate danger to yourself & are under the age of 18, your doctor will need to let your parents know what's going on.  In most states, if you are older than 14 or 15 & are not an immediate danger to yourself, a lot of doctors will treat you without giving your parents all the details.  Your medical doctor will be treating you for any of the physical problems of bulemia.  So any coding would list the actual problem, not that you have an eating disorder.  The mental health providers might be different, but I want to encourage you to cross that bridge when you come to it.
I get it about being stressed out already & not wanting more stress, which would likely only compound the eating disorder.  But I really believe that once you figure out what treatment would be the best option for you, you can work with those providers to come up with a way to handle your parents.  And you can also post here & maybe we can help you.
Stay strong & try not to let the worry get you too much.  If you can, maybe spend some time with weekend with friends to get your mind off of it.
frances :)
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