Your doctor can only force you into a hospital program if you pose an immediate danger to yourself. I don't know how bad the bulemia has become for you. If you have thrown up to the point you have burned a hole in your esophagus, severely damaged your vocal chords, caused infected ulcers in your mouth, etc., it is possible that they could send you straight to the hospital.
But pretty much all doctors would try to find a solution that you would agree to try before forcing you to do anything. I do get how difficult eating disorders can be. Like NightWish, I also have had to deal with anorexia in the past. But I was lucky enough to have a doctor who didn't buy the lies I was feeding him in high school. I was so FURIUOS that I couldn't just eat whenever I wanted to & not eat whenever I wanted to. I was, in a sense, lucky that we were able to come up with a program where I didn't have to go in patient. As long as I ate regularly & put on specific amounts of weight at specific intervals, I was allowed to deal with it on my own. I got a lot of support -- especially from my workplace where my store manager's wife would bring in muffins everyday & watch me eat them (she was so nice, but I hated those muffins. they tasted good, but the pressure to eat them was rough.). My boyfriend supported me by taking me out for large meals & making me eat at least half of the food on my plate (which was still probably more than a full serving because these were HUGE plates of food). And I had a lot of friends who were constantly celebrating whenever I would hit milestones.
My family was not supportive of me at all. They thought that the skinnier the better. Even though I was just 68 lbs. at 5'6", they thought & often told me that I didn't need to be putting on any weight. That made things hard on me, but I had a lot of support.
The biggest thing that helped was spending a lot less time with sickly thin people & a lot more time with healthy or even overweight people. There is a lot of research behind why that is, but I won't go into that. It does help though to surround yourself, especially at meal times, with people who eat healthy proportions & keep them down. If there isn't any other way you can achieve that, then there are many really wonderful programs out there designed specifically for individuals with eating disorders. I have had 3 friends who have gone to those over the years & all of them had very, very positive experiences & now can eat healthy without much struggle at all. If you can, maybe look into some of those programs. If not, a good behavioral psychologist who runs a support group for eating disorders can be helpful as well.
Please know, though, that this is your life. It is so important to eat healthy. Bulemia can cause so many problems -- tooth decay, mouth ulcers, holes/ulcers in the nose & sinus cavity, holes/ulcers in the esophogus, acid reflux, horseness/loss of voice, destruction of vocal cords, difficulty swallowing, choking on saliva, stomach problems -- not to mention all the problems that can develop from not getting enough nutrients -- up to & including organ failure & death. I know when I was dealing with it that it seemed like it was my body & it was not the big deal that everyone made it out to be. But it is very dangerous & it is a big deal. Please do talk to your doctor & get help -- in whatever form is helpful to you. The sooner you get help, the easier it will be to recover & change your behavior.
I really wish your counselor would have talked to you about her concerns first rather than going straight to your doctor. I agree that I would have felt very betrayed by that kind of an action. The evaluation itself is not horrible. It is pretty much like a physical & a bunch of questions. They might refer you to a GI specialist if they think the damage might be more serious. I think you will be surprised how simple it is. Keep in mind that your doctor is not the one who went behind your back. S/he really can become your ally. If you stay calm, are very honest about what your strenghts & struggles are & listen carefully about what options the doctor is presenting, I think you will find it is not that horrible. If your doctor suggests something you're not comfortable with, ask what other options there are & if you could get a second opinion. If there's a friend or family member you feel comfortable with, you might consider asking that person to go with you to your doctor's appointment. Sometimes that can also help to show that you are not alone in trying to deal with bulemia & that you might be able to face it on either an outpatient or individual basis, with a minimal amount of support from a counselor/psychiatrist/doctor.
I hope that helps you some. I don't want you all worried about the evaluation. It is important, very important, to beat the bulemia, but it doesn't have to be an awful experience where you have absolutely no say whatsoever in the matter (unless you are to the point of life-or-death & even then you might be able to have some input on where & how often you go for treatment).
Please know that we are all here to support you. Let us know how things go.
hugs & peace,