Confused i dont know what to do

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/30/2009 3:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Im almost 19 years old and when I was 17 my so called mother kicked me out. I luckly had an amazing bf who's parents took me in but I was still leaving a little brother well he is 3 years younger then me. My dad was living in another state for work and only came home once a month for a few days. I always had problems with her she has punched me in the face and the verbal abuse was horrible from the time i hit 13 she called me a ***** even though i was not sexually active i was a tomboy and had alot of guy friends. I gained some weight after quitting volleyball and track and she always asked if i was preg. cuz i was gaining alot of weight and told me i needed to be on a diet. She started doing drugs and staying out at the bars till they closed and i soon found a journal she wrote saying she didnt want to be a mother or wife any more. She was cheating on my dad and pushing me away. Now she wont leave me alone she wants me to forgive her but she is still doing drugs. I have nightmares of her trying to hurt me I hear her yelling and screaming at me in my dreams. I tried to get rid of everything that reminded me of her and it didnt work i burned the pictures of me and her its like having your mother die but she is still alive. I do not see her as my mother if i talk about her to my dad i use her name. I also found out she hit me several times when i was young one time it was my legs with a metal coat hanger.
 I dont know how to forget her and crying all the time and feeling so afraid is driving me crazy.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/30/2009 7:27 AM (GMT -6)   
heather, am worried. a lot has been happening to you. i would advise you that seeking immediate professional help is warranted. you have every right to feel and be safe. i am sure that you will be given info from other members that are in your area/country that will be of deinate use to you. in the meantime stay safe and call for help if needed. my compassion to you. jamie.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 11/30/2009 12:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Heather,

Welcome to the depression forum. You have come to a good place with many compassionate members.

I understand how you feel about your mother. Mine was like that too. Though she didn't kick me out, but I couldn't wait to move out. So I did as soon as I could. I loved my mom, but she was jealous of me.

As they say, time does heal. But as Jamie said, I think you need to get into some professional counseling to help you deal with these feelings. You may even end up forgiving your mom just to help you to move on. But if you don't, that is understandable too.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Do seek some counseling. It is time that you get some support.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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