I want to welcome you to HealingWell and the depression forum. I am sorry that you are in the state you are in and questioning what you want to do in life. But for your age, I think that this is a natural process. You are at a point where you are deciding what you want to do and that is okay.
If you are confused about it, and it sounds like you are, do some more research on the things that you are trying to do. But at the same time, try to take life one day at a time and go with the flow of things. Are you currently going to any school? I am sorry that you had to leave the college that you were going to due to depression. Was there any specific thing that you were doing at the time that would have caused them to want you to leave? You weren't clear on that.
We are not suppose to talk about any illegal drugs, including medical marijuana, but I am really surprised that your doctor prescribed it for depression. Not saying that it would not help, I think for some people it would. But it is just strange that it would be prescribed as a lot of doctors would just prescribe it for pain and for nausea from chemotherapy. I am sorry that it didn't work for you.
I wonder if you need to try a different antidepressant. It certainly sounds like you are trying hard to overcome depression by all of the counseling you have been through. I really hope that you can find what it right for you. I am sorry that the pristiq didn't work for you. I take that now, with a little effexor that I am going off of. Also take abilify with it, you might need a mood elavator or stabilizer to help you get better. Talk to your doctor about that.
I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting, as we are all here for you.
I do have to edit your post as we are not allowed to talk about suicide or mm. Take care,
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies