College, Career, and Life

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/2/2009 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   
A little background about me is I am 21 years old, I use to have depression when I was a freshman in high school and I learned how to control it. But ever since 2 years ago when I went to UC Davis my life has made a turn for the worse, my freshman year in college was fun and I started questioning what i should do in life as a career and I looked at my major and didn't know if it was for me, I explored different careers and did research in engineering, and I also talked to a psychologist for help, but the next year I was kicked out of college because my depression was affecting me. I moved back home to find out my mother is an alcoholic now I have been out of UC Davis for two years and still don't know what to do, I am questioning my life if it is worth living, I have seen about 3 counselors and 2 psychologist, one of which prescribed me Pristique and that made me want to myself and I told my doctor and he doubled my dose of it i started actually hallucinating and one day i had a knife in my hand and imagined just my self. I got off Pristique and went to another psychologist and he prescribed me and that did not help me at all it just made me lazy and gave me more time to think on how my life is a mess. I am drug free now I don't know what to do and if someone has some advice to give to me I would be grateful. The main thing is I can help other people solve their problems and issues but I cant help solve my own issues, and i feel as though my life is bad and is getting worse as each day passes by. I feel like the main character in Office Space and I am just looking for the person that will help that change just like the movie did. Sorry for the long post and thank you for reading it and I will say this again I am grateful for any advice given to me.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/2/2009 5:57:43 PM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 12/2/2009 7:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Codestor,
I want to welcome you to HealingWell and the depression forum.  I am sorry that you are in the state you are in and questioning what you want to do in life.  But for your age, I think that this is a natural process.  You are at a point where you are deciding what you want to do and that is okay. 
If you are confused about it, and it sounds like you are, do some more research on the things that you are trying to do.  But at the same time, try to take life one day at a time and go with the flow of things.   Are you currently going to any school?  I am sorry that you had to leave the college that you were going to due to depression.  Was there any specific thing that you were doing at the time that would have caused them to want you to leave?  You weren't clear on that. 
We are not suppose to talk about any illegal drugs, including medical marijuana, but I am really surprised that your doctor prescribed it for depression.  Not saying that it would not help, I think for some people it would.  But it is just strange that it would be prescribed as a lot of doctors would just prescribe it for pain and for nausea from chemotherapy.  I am sorry that it didn't work for you. 
I wonder if you need to try a different antidepressant.  It certainly sounds like you are trying hard to overcome depression by all of the counseling you have been through.  I really hope that you can find what it right for you.  I am sorry that the pristiq didn't work for you.  I take that now, with a little effexor that I am going off of.  Also take abilify with it, you might need a mood elavator or stabilizer to help you get better.  Talk to your doctor about that.
I hope that you feel better soon.  Keep posting, as we are all here for you. 
I do have to edit your post as we are not allowed to talk about suicide or mm.  Take care,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 12/4/2009 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   
i think that maybe seeing a psychiatrist will help you. it did me. they are specialists with mental illnesses and medications. please keep safe, you are ahuman being of this earth, with gifts and talents that are awaiting to come out. pls keep safe, and heal you. with loving compassion, jamie.

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