Posted 11/12/2004 6:52 AM (GMT -6)
I am Jane, i have 2 children a girl aged 7 called Sophie and a boy aged 12 called Jordon. I have split from my violent husband as just after last Christmas he left us after i discovered he had been seeing someone from work behind our back, since he left he hasn't been back in contact and hasn't seen the children.
I cant believe i didn't realize he was cheating on us, although i had thought about leaving him in the past because of the abuse i never actually thought i would get away so him leaving was a big shock.
It has been hard looking after the children on my own after 12 years of having someone around.
I have recently been to see my doctor who has said that i am suffering from depression and anxiety.
I have a part time job which i love, it doesn't pay much but enough to pay the bills and keep the kids fed and warm which is all that matters really. Its just that i'm worried about Christmas, what with it being just around the corner, i have no savings for presents anymore because all the money i did have saved has been now spent on new uniforms for the kids for school and things which my ex would usually of paid for. On other years i would have save a bit of money to buy presents, but this year i don't know what i am going to do. Sometimes i feel angry at the ex for leaving us, sometimes i feel sad because im alone, sometimes i feel worthless, sometimes i feel guilty because i cant get he kids things they want, and a lot of the time i feel tired and like i cant go on.
I just want one day of feeling happy, loved, strong and with no worries just for that one day.
thanks for reading this,
jane x