Well I've done it - retreated back within my head and my own warped fantasy. I no longer no wats real so if this sounds deranged please forgive me. For weeks now i have been living this fantasy tht i am going out with Ville Valo - lead singer of HIM - and I am pregnant with his child but here's the warped part of it. We are just getting round to telling our parents bout the bubba and i find out my dad's about to die of cancer - why would tht be in my fantasy?
This method of escapism has been a coping mechanism for as long as I remember and I'm know scared tht I am actually doing myself more harm than good.
The line between fantasy & reality is becoming more and more blurred - just today I went back to my bed as I was still awake at 5.30am and i had to question whether certain things happened to me or whether they were dreams and I still dont know.
"I've woken now to find myself, In the shadows of all I have created, I'm longing to be lost in you, Wont you take me away from me." (evanescence "away from me")
"It rips your heart out and leaves you bleeding with a smile on your face." (HIM "and love said no")
"Happy hunting you double faced carnivore" (Nightwish "Romanticide"