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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 11/14/2004 1:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Well I've done it - retreated back within my head and my own warped fantasy.  I no longer no wats real so if this sounds deranged please forgive me.  For weeks now i have been living this fantasy tht i am going out with Ville Valo - lead singer of HIM - and I am pregnant with his child but here's the warped part of it.  We are just getting round to telling our parents bout the bubba and i find out my dad's about to die of cancer - why would tht be in my fantasy?
This method of escapism has been a coping mechanism for as long as I remember and I'm know scared tht I am actually doing myself more harm than good.
The line between fantasy & reality is becoming more and more blurred - just today I went back to my bed as I was still awake at 5.30am and i had to question whether certain things happened to me or whether they were dreams and I still dont know.
"I've woken now to find myself, In the shadows of all I have created, I'm longing to be lost in you, Wont you take me away from me." (evanescence "away from me")

"It rips your heart out and leaves you bleeding with a smile on your face." (HIM "and love said no")

"Happy hunting you double faced carnivore" (Nightwish "Romanticide"

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2004
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 11/14/2004 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
i don't think its warped...i often imagine scenarios in which i get a phone call telling me my biological father had died. Isn't imagination tricky? I've had thoughts like ever since i can remember...and i get deja vu often too, which makes it even harder to tell if i had dreamed the future or have gone to the future and came back..????
I'm sorry that you are suffering..i wish i could be more of a help to you. I have felt that my reality has been blurred too.....but the only pain that conjures up is the inner turmoil i go through...and i guess that keeps us all human...please stay strong. We're all here to listen and provide support for you..just..please. Keep your head above the water.

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 11/15/2004 10:54:36 AM (GMT-7)

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