Even though I just wanted to keep the peace until the holidays are over, my husband wanted to have " a talk" today ... gosh I hate that. So, he says that he thinks there has always been 'something wrong' with me and that I have never been happy, that I want everything to go my way, I don't respect him, and that he's not so bad to the boys ... it's just that I don't like the way he talks to them because he doesn't treat them like I do. At first, he suggested that we sell the house and separate. But we can't afford that ..
So, he informed me that he's just going to think of me as another person in his life ... not like a wife anymore. He's mad that I don't even want to be physically intimate anymore ... but between the depression, the prozac, and the fact that I just really can't stand to be around him ... I'm not sure why he thinks I would want to TOUCH him.
I sound like a real B#$%h, I know. But I'm not .. I'm just disappointed and angry and I feel so incredibly guilty for marrying him. It's been 7 years .... we've given it a long try. But seriously, I don't know how much longer I can stand to have to be in the same house. It gets worse everyday.
You know, no matter how many times I see a counselor, or faithfully take my meds, or try to be postive, NOTHING is going to fix the problems that CAUSE my depression. It's so frustrating ... I think that anyone in the mess I am in would feel depressed!