hi gang. it has been a very long and complex year for me. and i guess for a lot of you too. so, in reflection i have acheived much. i am not into new year resolutions, i am into life, into being the best i can be. i love to learn, i speak with a very diverse bunch of people, it is fascinating for me to learn about others, about there cultures, etc. i have learnt so much here on healing well also. it is a beautiful thing when you can help others, most of the time it is not always about big things, even small stuff is important, thus i am continually learning about being able to help, the ways that i can, and in difficult times people face i am learning how to be helpful, with respect and compassion.
so many of you continue to teach me, so thanks. for me i am about hope, hope is crucial in managing depression, as is trust, empathy and compassion. tough love is also there, and yes sometimes this needs to be administered, albeit i am continually learning on the best methods without pulling anyone down. i have some assignments to complete, yeah a tad behind. i am looking at doing further studies, although i am in talks with my service provider on what, when, how etc. i am going to do studies that are conducive with my employment goals-and where i can receive RPL and credits. less is more principal.
also i will be making a few more changes to my house for when the lady moves in. yes we need to up the ante a bit, oh well it will be time to butt some heads-gently and very diplomatically ofcourse!! i am following up on my rights as a partner, etc to have her stay sometime overnight. i aspire to gain some meaningful employment in the later part of 2010. part-time and or casual to begin with; it has been nearly ten years, thus i will go with a very reputable job agency to help me with this process. i have one in mind, need to do some research.
i have put it to the universe for a car for mel and i, we are definately going to need one. i may, when a little more stable apply for a progress loan, these are done via welfare agencies, these loans are under a NILS system. no interst loan scheme. you do need to be in front with bills etc. you can, with some of the agencies apply for up to 3 thousand dollars. in 2010 the rest of my teeth will be fixed, my uretheral stricture too. i need to save some money to get my mower fixed, i have a very large back -yard and front. some friends will give me some help to get some blinds up i scored-hopefully in the next few days-bob has been crook, he is our handy man!!
so, the new year awaits. so take it by the horns. i know the relaties of depression, and i know that i can push when needed. yeah the year has caught up with me in the last few weeks, but i am strangely happy with that as it confirms that i put in.
guys, beleive in you, trust your instincts, be busy, but take time to reflect. a work life balance that works is crucial. be your best friend, never be ashamed to speak up if you are in the dirty black hole, communicate, trust, especially your doctors. the more they know the better they can help you. keep spreading the word that depression is a medical condition, and that we are not going to flip pot on cue!! remember that we are our own worst critics, so be your absolute best friend. love you-worts and all; we are all beautiful and unique beings of this earth, all with beautiful gifts and talents that are unique to only you. share your compassion, be the best you can be. and remember that life is journey........one that will get you to your dreams.......if you let it. my love and admiration to you all. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.