The woman of my dreams cannot be with me....

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 1/7/2010 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Ok so I am a 14 turning 15 year old female who has feelings for a 15 year old woman. We met freshmen year at high school and I really liked her. I thought this was just a phase so I never really approached her. She always seemed depressed, but I never bothered to ask her why. That changed a couple weeks later as she told me a story that I would never forget. Supposedly, the girl that I liked held this party and they started playing truth or dare. A couple of friends were there and one of them told (the girl I like, her name is Jessica) to kiss one of her friends. So she did and she picked another one of my friends that happens to be a girl. I guess after the party they kept kissing and the girl told Jessica that she was confused and what not. So they started dating. A couple days later the girl kisses Jessica in public and so happened that the girl's sister was walking by. Well the girl told Jessica that she couldn't be with her anymore and that was the end of Jessica. So Jessica and I started talking a whole bunch and I started having those feelings for her again. I finally had enough guts to tell her that I liked her. She didn't believe me and she still continued to talk to me as if I were a "friend". She came over my house a whole bunch and stuff like that. And then something unreal happened on Christmas Eve, she kissed her hand and stuck it on my lips. I was ever so happy but dissapointed she had to leave. We talked a whole bunch after this and hung out and stuff again. I asked her to come over my house for New Years, and she did. That night at 12:03 pm we touched, we cuddled, and hugged, all the stuff I wanted to do to her from the beginning. Yes, we were a bit drunk, but I still remember. Ok, so here is the part when I get depressed, I told her the next day that I really like what we did, and she looked at me like I was some kind of crazy person. She later explained to me that she was high and really drunk, and doesn't remember anything that happened last night. She told me that she wanted to be with me forever, and that I should never leave her. I didn't and lied there hugging her and caressing her. I told her that I loved her and that I would forever. So she told me that there would be no chance of us ever being together and it kills me. We are still technically friends but she hasn't been to school in a really long time. What should I do to stop this depression???[

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/7/2010 11:49 AM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to HealingWell and the depression board.

I am concerned about you being "used" in this situation. I would bet money that this girl remembers everything she did that night, but isn't ready to admit her emotions or sexual preferences. Clearly she enjoys your company and advances, but isn't reciprocating the way a healthy romantic partner would. You need to be careful here. You are in line to get really hurt.

Seek out some organizations for queer teens, such as You could really use the support, and you want to be on guard with this girl. This isn't how healthy relationships progress. Both partners should be equally enthusiastic about getting together, and sexuality is secondary to the emotional connection they feel.

Good luck,
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER

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