It's an everyday dilemma

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/19/2010 11:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm new to this website.
And I feel a little selfish just jumping on without looking to see what other peoples problems are and how petty mine might really be.
But I guess I just don't really know how to deal anymore and I feel like I'm going to put a burden on myself, my boyfriend and our child if I don't figure out how to help myself. I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong, I'm just not sure how to deal with it.
I'm 21, my boyfriend is 25 and our daughter will be 6 months old this month. We were only together for 2 months when I found out I was pregnant. We have the whole married life, without the marriage.
So basically, I've never really had anyone to help me out, my parents weren't really parents, and I've always pushed away anyone who's tried to get close. The only reason I feel like I've made it this far with my boyfriend now is because we have a child together. He's a great guy, but he's not perfect. I just don't really feel like I'll ever be good enough for him or my little girl, even though I know that they're the best things to ever happen to me. There are a lot of times I just start thinking about my mom and I just clam up. I'm too stubborn to talk about it. That's when he thinks I get mad at him, but really, it's not him. I just dont know where to start looking for help. Not to mention I dont ever feel like I'm well rested. I'm ALWAYS tired, but I just deal with it anyway.
Maybe it's some kind of chronic fatigue that's making it hard to deal with my life from day to day, or maybe it's anxiety, or maybe it's depression.
I really just want to get rid of the demons in my life and move on to having a more wonderful life for my family. Like everyone else knows, it's easier said than done.
If anyone can help me and give me some good advice, that's all I'm really looking for.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 1/19/2010 12:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Truelife,
Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum.  You are starting in the right place.  This is a support group and we are here for you.
I would though recommend counseling for you.  It does sound like you are depressed and fatigue goes right along with that.  Though mine is from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.  That can happen too.
The best place to start is with your doctor.  Get a physical and a clean bill of health.  If there aren't any physical things going on, they will most likely recommend you to counseling.  That has helped many of us. 
Living with depression is hard, but I think you need to let your boyfriend know why you clam up.  That it isn't his fault, he might be blaming himself.  Let him know that it stems from your childhood.  As it sounds like it does.
Know that you are a good person, just living with a disease, as depression is one.  It is a hard road to go.  But with our help and some counseling, I think you will be on the right track again.
Best wishes to you.
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/19/2010 8:23 PM (GMT -6)   

As a mother to a 4-year-old, let me tell you that the things you describe are totally normal. Exhausted, feeling inadequate, depressed? Check, check and check. All mothers feel exhausted and inadequate at times, but the emotional struggles you discuss are not ones you have to just live with. Consider talking to a doc about post-partum depression, and maybe looking into therapy. But feel free to talk about what's bugging you here. We're a compassionate, friendly bunch.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER

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