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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 1/21/2010 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Everyone,


I need a major advise in my life right now, I ‘m 27 years old married to a 47 years old man.

We have been married for last 5 ½ years now and I had 2 step boys ( 14 & 17+ now) from my husband ex- wife , ..that I have been taking care of.

The children were badly spoiled when I got married and I tried my best to make them good in everything but they were just too stubborn. Now recently I had a baby boy and my life suddenly took a new turn, where all my anxiety and depression was gone. But recently the elder step son starting giving us a lot og hard time, even during my pregnancy he was just creating unpleasantness in the house.


Now that it became so worst that every time we scold him, he starting abusing us or became very disrespectful. Not only that his mother also got involved and made the situation worst. She while having an argument with my husband said, how come he got spoiled in your custody and when my husband told her that he was already spoiled in her custody time …………..and she gave him a reply back in anger that “ THAT WOMEN YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOUSE AND THAT CHILD WHICH YOU JUST HAD SHOULD GET INSECT IN THEIR BODY “.


After all that what happened I have been so angry and depressed that , I don’t want to take care of her kids anymore, all these years I took care of them as their real mother , did everything from my pure heart and showed all my good concern for them. All this was just for my husband that he doesn’t suffer without his kids. But now I’m so fed up of all the nonsense going on .


We have already decided to send the older boy to his mother but I don’t even want his you second son also. I want that their own mother take of them and see how it feels to handle teenager, as she is so thankless that she had the audacity to says something so bad for me and my baby who is just 2 months old.

How dare is said that and thought that I will still keep her children and will raise them still.


But when I asked my husband to send him also , he said that he will never do that and will give up on me but not his second son.


I really want to live my life now, I had my own baby after 5 year because I was taking care of his children and now I want to live my life peacefully and happily with no issue in my life.


I sometime get the feeling that I should leave him as I will never be happy after all these years I was in depression and I don’t want to go through that again.


Pls advice what should I do , stay with him ?? leave him ?? pls


I’m very helpless…………cry cry cry cry

Post Edited (shobna) : 1/27/2010 9:46:44 AM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 1/21/2010 5:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Shobna,
I don't think you should let her words bother you.  Keep raising the second son as you would have.  He is not to blame for what she says.  And they are only words.  Does not change who you and your baby are.  Love him like your own.  He did nothing do deserve otherwise. 
I know that children seem spoiled, but they are just that, children.  Treat them good as you have been.  Don't let the ex change you or make you become bitter.  It isn't fair to your stepson. 
Only you can decide if you should stay or not.  You have to figure out if you are unhappy enough to leave.  Are you going to any counseling?  You could use the support at a time like this.  Some objective views of the situation.  I would recommend counseling.  You have a lot going on and I think you could use some help. 
Try not to let her get to you, the ex that is.  Take what she says with a grain of salt.  It means nothing.  You know that you have tried to be a good mother to her children and that is all that matters. 
I wish you the best in this.  One day at a time is my motto. 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 1/22/2010 12:55 AM (GMT -6)   
first look after you. second follow your instincts. hoping the situation improves. with compassion, jamie.

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