I dont know what to do?

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/28/2010 8:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm 24 and I mam died last year. I cant stop thinking about her. I miss her so so much and cry for her every day. I cant seem to talk about it with anyone. Im also unemployed at the moment and everything is getting me down. I went from working two jobs, being in college and having my mam and now i have no job finished college and no mam. I have brothers and sisters who are great and also going through what i am but i feel that im the one who always does the listening and then cant tell them how i feel. I feel weird writing this up on the web but i cant talk about it in person. I also feel so guilty coz the couple of months before she died i went off travelling and i wish now i didnt. Im trying to keep busy during the day by exercising and stuff but I still end up going to the grave every day and just crying. I know there are people in worse situations out there but I just dont know what to do and feel like im stuck in a rut?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 1/28/2010 9:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Corky24,
Welcome to healing well and the depression forum.  First of all, I am very sorry to hear about your mom, this is a huge loss.  There is no time limit on grief, so what you are doing is normal for you.  So don't feel bad about grieving.  Do what you need to do.
But I would recommend grief counseling.  I think that would help you to move on.  I think your mom would have wanted that. 
Work is scarce, and I would keep in contact with places that I applied to.  That lets them know that you are interested, so don't give up.  Keep trying.  And remember that we are now behind you. 
Don't feel bad about the traveling that you did.  I am sure that is what she wanted for you to do.  You still have fond memories of her that you can think about.  Keep her in your heart, but try to move on.  It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and I think you can be very successful if you are able to put your mind to it.  So try to focus on things and use your education to the best that you can. 
Getting counseling will help you to acheive things.  It will help you to move forward and accomplish goals.  So maybe talk to your doctor and get an appointment with a good counselor.  And start your healing journey. 
Best wishes, keep posting.
Hugs, Karen

  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 1/28/2010 9:41 PM (GMT -6)   
hi corky. condolences over the loss of your mum. was your mum unwell? sadly people die. no matter if we are here or go away, it happens, i lost my partner 4 years ago, i went out to get breakfast, gone 30 minutes and it happened. grief is a real personal thing, there is no right or wrong way. i know that your mum would like you to live your life. being emotive around others is hard, sounds like you have become the families rock, it seems like they need to listen to you. i know this scares you, you are masking your situation. something a lot of people do. it is your safety blanket. i would definately suggest a talk with your doctor, he/she can refer you to a compassionate therapist who works in this area. you have been brave in posting, continue being brave and seek some support. with healing compassion, jamie, male, 37.

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