I don't know how I get myself into these things

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 1/29/2010 3:27 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm a person that suffers from depression but is lucky enough to only suffer the intense effects when there's a problem in my life. I'll go years with no real problems, but now I've got a real problem. I really screwed up. I made a huge mistake. I let me guard down and let myself into a situation that I wasn't prepared for. I trusted someone that took advantage of me and made ME hurt the person I care about most. Okay, I'll stop tip-toeing around what happened. Last spring my boss kept inviting me to parties at his house. He invited me every single weekend and I had an excuse every single weekend. I'm a student working my way through college so homework usually provided me with more than enough excuses. See I had heard stories about some of these parties. They tended to get a little wild by the end of the night. They started with kids running around and ended with people naked in his pool. He would actually tell me, his secretary, about this. But eventually I started to feel like I should attend one out of respect (and he was starting to make me feel guilty). I thought it would be good for my career with the company. He told me about one party that all of his family was going to at. His parents, his sisters, some other people from the company, and lots of kids. So, I decided to attend with my boyfriend, stay for 2 hours and leave. Well, when we got there my boss was belligerently drunk. He kept making comments about my skirt. Right there I should have left. But I'm a very passive person. I hate confrontation. I'm a very 'run with the pack' kind of person. It's not something I'm proud of. I get a lot of social anxiety. Well, because of my social anxiety and because I was so uncomfortable I started drinking. A little too much. I got drunk. It was about 8 o'clock when I got up to go to the restroom. My boyfriend said he saw my boss jump up a few seconds after I went inside and follow me in but he didn't think anything about it. When I came out of the bathroom and walked through the kitchen (stumbled more like). He pushed me into a corner and kissed me. I pushed him away and reached for the door to go back outside. I was too drunk to deal with that situation. All I could think about at that moment was my boyfriend. All I wanted to do was get out of there. I immediately walked straight up to my boyfriend and told him what happened. I didn't want to be anything but honest with him. I honestly don't remember his reaction. The next thing I know my boss is standing behind me with his hands on my breasts. My boyfriend pulled me to the car and we left. My boss is an unimaginable jerk. But the horrible thing is that I still work for him! It's been almost a year and I can't find another job. Especially one that will allow me to take time off to go to class. Every time I see him I want to punch him. I'm so angry and I have no place or nothing to do with my anger. I just keep eating it and it's eating me up inside. I come home crying all the time because after an entire day of putting on a brave face, I break down on the car ride home. But my boyfriend says we can't afford for me to quit. Even for me to get a job that pays less. I'm scared that he thinks that I was in some way asking for it. Or he's subconciously punishing me by not letting me quit. A few months ago I told my mom about what happened and she said she'd help out financially if I quit too. I'm just so unhappy and mentally exhauted.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 1/29/2010 4:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Morgan,
Welcome to HealingWell and the depression forum.  What your boss did was uncalled for and nasty.  You could get him for sexual harrassment.  For me, after what happened, I wouldn't be able to work with him anymore.  But I do understand your situation and the need for the job. 
How much do you think that your mother would help out?  I think it is time to look for another job.  Working with this man would make me very anxious.  I don't know how you can do it, and I can't understand that your boyfriend would want you to continue.  Unless he isn't the same when he is sober.  Does he harrass you when he is sober at work?  I hope not.  It would make me very uncomfortable. 
Maybe you could quit and then go to human resources to get some help.  Let them know what happened and maybe they would start a case against him.  I would check that out. 
I am glad that you were totally honest with your boyfriend, that would be a hard thing to keep under ones hat. 
I hope that things get better soon for you.  One day at a time, and look for another job.
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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