Hello, I have for along time everysince I was little and after I was molested have slept for long periods of time during the day, and now since I am older It seems as though I am having and dealing with the same thing. Don't know if I have depression or not, but I have been told that I suffer from depression really bad. Awhile back, I have took things and tried to drink because of depression and wanted to , and I have also tried to take something and because I was depressed at the time. I thought that I was over it, but it seems as though I am. I also have trouble sleeping at night and I feel as though I don't get enough sleep during the day to where I am sleeping until 12noon maybe longer during the day. My life is in so much of shambles right now and I don't know what else to do, and my marriage is on the rocks and sometimes I feel as though I cant do anything right that I am always messing up even when I try to do things right. Lately I have been experiencing the worst headaches lasting days at a time, and I have also been experiencing pain in my right arm that starts at my hand and goes all the way to my upper arm, and it feels as though I am getting my blood pressure ck with one of those cuffs on my arm and its squeezing the blood circulation, and then my hand swells to the point I can't remove my rings on my finger. This stays like this for a couple of hours an then it goes away and I feel much better at the end.
My husband and I aren't getting better because the name calling is involved and the pushing and argueing to the point that my kids put their mp3 players in their ear just so they can't hear us argue, and I can't remember the last time that we had laughter at all, and then the sex has completely gone away and sometimes we feel as though we are sick of being around each other at all. e tell each other that we love each thoughand we kiss each other, but then the next day something brings us to arguing again and most of the time it's me; because I am doing something wrong in his eyes. I have noone to talk to at all, no friends in my life and I feel as thoug its me myself and I, and If I show emotions then I am a cry baby, and if I tell him that I am hurting health wise he doesn't believe me and pass it off as being weak and complaining all of the time to where I don't tell him at all.
What should I do? If I go see someone for help the service cost so much and I can't afford it, but I need to do something. Sometimes I ask God to one day just take me away from this crue world because I am so tired of being here.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 2/1/2010 7:10:20 AM (GMT-7)