Hi there Boyer,
Welcome to the depression forum. First of all, get rid of that guilt. Throw it right out the window. You have nothing to feel guilty about
. I came from a split up family, and never knew my dad at all. So there always was a part of me that I didn't understand, but then I learned that was just me and to accept that. He has long passed, yeah I felt bad that I didn't know him. But it was just as much his fault as it was my own. So no guilt there. Guilt just eats at you, so get rid of it.
RElationships are hard, especially long distance. Take that one day at a time, it will work out if it is meant to be. It sounds like she really cares for you. So go with the flow of it.
Try not to compare yourself to your father. You are not him. And you can choose to not be like him. Try not to drink. Mixing meds and alcohol is a road to disaster. And drinking alcohol makes you more depressed. It is a depressant after all.
Keep posting as we are all here for you. I hope that you have a better day.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies