Hi, long time no see! I've posted on the Anxiety/Depression posts a while back, but lost my hard drive and the link! So I found it, and I'm back. This time... I think I'm depressed.
My life has been crapty, to sum it all up. Let me tell my story.
When I was in the fourth grade, my parents got divorced. This troubled me greatly. I didn't know what to think, nor what to do. A year later in Fifth grade my dad's mother died. I was very close to her because we would always go visit our family every holiday since I can remember. Time went on, I was in Sixth grade, and my Grandmother (my mom's mom) moved all the way from Oregon to Ohio to live with my mother, my brother and I. A year later, my Dad's dad died. I was close to him as well because we visited him too and he was someone I respected. Over the course of the next few years, my grandmother whom was living with us, got cancer. Finally when I was in 9th grade, she died after a long suffering in an end-of-life home. Sophomore year in highschool my Mom got cancer. I was so scared. She suffered so bad, taking chemo every week. I saw her each day laying on the couch in so much pain it made me hurt inside, deeply. She told me each week the doctor she was getting better. Stuff happened in my family and I moved in with my dad. I'm a Junior as this is happening, this happened last Sept. '04. I went over to my old house, my mom's house, to get some stuff, and she told me she had to go back to the hospital. I didn't know why but I gave her a hug. The next weekend she was moved out of the hospital into an end of life home. I went to see her but she couldn't talk or anything. This is my mom that I've lived with for 17 ****ing years laying in her deathbed. I was in disbelief, I had to of been. The next morning, this all in the span of 3 days, she died...at the age of 40. Recently I dropped out of school and i've lost all interest in my friends and my activities. Life is getting pretty bad for me, and I've even have had thoroughly thought of suicide. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm stuck in life and I need some advice. I'm only 17 and I k now dropping out of school could in turn wreck my life later, but I am just not motivated to do anything anymore.
If you took the time to read this, I appreciate it. I anticipate comments - TY!