I'm new here,
I am feeling totally down all the time just now, I'm not sure if im depressed but I feel like I need someone to talk to because I have no one.
My boyfriend stole a lot of money from a family member (used her credit card for lots of things) and he got found out by the rest of the family and is now being told he owed 7 grand, and that he has to pay it back. He lied to me about
this, everytime he took me out, it was her money, not his, and whenever I confronted him he said it was his.
We had a holiday booked to Mexico in the summer, and to help pay back the money he owes, he cancelled this holiday behind my back, and still led me to believe we were going. He also took back my christmas present to sell.
This really broke me, as he had already lied to me so much.
He has continued to lie to me over and over again, and is still doing so.
All of this is totally consuming me and every time I try to be positive, I just think my life is so crap.
I still love him but I keep telling myself, too much has happened, he has hurt you too much and dragged you down with him, but I cannot move on from him at all.
To make things worse, he keeps telling me that he sees no point in living anymore and the only reason he has to live is me.
I am worried about
him, but angry that hes saying things like this to me.
It makes me feel really guilty because I feel like I cant leave him.
I just recovered from an eating disorder last year, and have been doing really well. I'm scared because I look in the mirror and hate what I see even more and more each day for the last couple of months, and find myself restricting my calories again. I do not want to relapse as I was doing so well, but I feel unnatractive. I am miserable.
I feel so rubbish.
Please somebody read this, and talk to me because I feel so alone, and isolated.
Post Edited (Pops001) : 2/18/2010 5:00:15 PM (GMT-7)