Paul, pray. Any and every prayer you know, meditate, breathe... in through the nose out through the mouth while thanking God for life, it is a miraculous thing. I was 15 once, the world has gotten way more intense and extreme since then, in the 80's we had cancer crack and Russian nuclear threat, same crap different decade, all these things weigh on us heavy subconsciously, so compounded by personal dramas like possible prego's trouble at home(my dad's an alcoholic) etc. of course you're hurting, your emotions are so new, but believe it or not, it is good to feel, this means you are alive and still have a chance to fullfill your dreams. Try this, it helped me through my first love breakup. I was overwelmed with pain and sorrow and it wasn't going away no matter how much I drank smoked and consumed so what i did was instead of fighting it, I embraced it. I told myself, this is what a broken heart feels like, this what millions of people for thousands of years have felt before me and will feel again, thank you God for life, the good and the bad. This may sound silly in the rages and extreme highs and lows you're going through but make sure you eat fresh fruits and vegetables, not drugs and alcohol, breathe, excersize, sleep(not with the TV cranking poison airwaves in the backround), wake in the morning and even if you gotta force a fake smile at first, smile and thank God for life. You will discover along the way SO many awsome, beautiful, delicious, miraculous things in your time, allow yourself to heal. Sometimes WE are the stumbling blocks, God heals, naturally, we are designed to heal, constantly, just allow it to happen. If your mind is on a runnaway train entertaining negative thoughts, catch yourself and remember You are the captain of your ship(the body being your vehicle housing and transporting the spirit/soul) take comand of your thoughts, force yourself right then and there to pray any prayer will do, instead of the freak hellish banter you've been letting run rampid in YOUR mind. You are not alone. And there but by the grace of God go I. Heal my young brother.
Post Edited (joeboot) : 12/7/2004 4:04:01 PM (GMT-7)