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Holiday Blues

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Depression
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happy?
New Member
Joined : Dec 2004
Posts : 3
Posted 12/17/2004 11:30 AM (GMT -6)
Hi - this is my first posting and it's difficult putting this low stage in my life into words for strangers to read.  (better strangers who can relate than family and friends who don't understand or choose not to). I'm 49 years old, un-happily married with 2 kids in their 20's both away at university. This is my third round with depresseion - each 'episode' lasting longer and feeling worse.  I have now been medicated for almost 1 1/2 years on Celexa and Wellbutron.  Despite my meds I am again in a very bad place - gaining weight, not getting out of bed, not showering or getting dressed and avoiding any and all social contact.  I find the holidays hard even when I'm well.  To the outside world I'm the Queen of Christmas with my house decorated from top to bottom - they don't know my private hell. 

I'm not suicidal but the saddness is so overwhelming it's scaring me.  I'm not sleeping - use gravol (6 or 7 at a time) to fall asleep and then am up 3 or 4 hours later wandering my house in the dark.

I can't get a dr's appointment until the 30th of this month and I'm not sure I can last.

Thanks for listening - any advise would be great.

signed happy?

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Circe_olives
New Member
Joined : Sep 2004
Posts : 6
Posted 12/30/2004 12:55 AM (GMT -6)
Goodness me! The Queen of christmas to the outside world? That's a huge effort - I can't manage to do that.
Do you look after other peoples' needs but forget about your own? You can let it out, if you want to.
So you've had depression for almost five years? Did something trigger it that you know of?
You seem like a very giving person, someone who loves to decorate the house from top to bottom. I bet it made christmas very special for anyone who stepped into your house. I'm sorry to hear you are going through a private hell.
My advise might be small, but I'd say...'treat yourself. Let someone pamper YOU. I'd reccomend getting a foot &/or shoulder massage...just to remember what it feels like to be relaxed & taken care of. Even if the feeling does last for a couple of hours. I think u deserve it!
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