Holiday Blues

happy? New Member Date Joined Dec 2004 Total Posts : 3	Posted 12/17/2004 11:30 AM (GMT -6)
	Hi - this is my first posting and it's difficult putting this low stage in my life into words for strangers to read. (better strangers who can relate than family and friends who don't understand or choose not to). I'm 49 years old, un-happily married with 2 kids in their 20's both away at university. This is my third round with depresseion - each 'episode' lasting longer and feeling worse. I have now been medicated for almost 1 1/2 years on Celexa and Wellbutron. Despite my meds I am again in a very bad place - gaining weight, not getting out of bed, not showering or getting dressed and avoiding any and all social contact. I find the holidays hard even when I'm well. To the outside world I'm the Queen of Christmas with my house decorated from top to bottom - they don't know my private hell. I'm not suicidal but the saddness is so overwhelming it's scaring me. I'm not sleeping - use gravol (6 or 7 at a time) to fall asleep and then am up 3 or 4 hours later wandering my house in the dark. I can't get a dr's appointment until the 30th of this month and I'm not sure I can last. Thanks for listening - any advise would be great. signed happy? Hi - this is my first visit to this site. I am 49 years old, unahappily married with 2 university aged kids. I have been suffering from depression for almost 5 years. I know realize that in order for me to stay mentally healthy it is necessary for me to stay on my medication. I am presently on Celexa and Wellbutron but am currently in a very low state of mind and am finding coping difficult. As much as I love Christmas and decorating my house from top to bottom, I can barely stand to get out of bed in the morning - never mind showering or getting dressed. (I am currently off work on short term disability for a non-related injury and am unable to drive.) When I wake up about 4:30 I wander around the house hoping to be able to get back to sleep. I am gaining weight and find any excuse to avoid social gatherings. My friends and family don't know about my depression - or if they do no one ever mentions it. I'm trying to talk myself out of this slump but then I think - why bother, who cares - certainly not me! Is anyone else medicated but not coping over the holidays? Thanks for letting me rant happy? Back to Top

Circe_olives New Member Date Joined Sep 2004 Total Posts : 6	Posted 12/30/2004 12:55 AM (GMT -6)
	Goodness me! The Queen of christmas to the outside world? That's a huge effort - I can't manage to do that. Do you look after other peoples' needs but forget about your own? You can let it out, if you want to. So you've had depression for almost five years? Did something trigger it that you know of? You seem like a very giving person, someone who loves to decorate the house from top to bottom. I bet it made christmas very special for anyone who stepped into your house. I'm sorry to hear you are going through a private hell. My advise might be small, but I'd say...'treat yourself. Let someone pamper YOU. I'd reccomend getting a foot &/or shoulder massage...just to remember what it feels like to be relaxed & taken care of. Even if the feeling does last for a couple of hours. I think u deserve it! Just when I discovered all the answers, they changed all the questions. (a sign in a café in the town of Ger) Back to Top

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