I have another post several weeks ago, so I'll just do a quick recap of myself so you don't have to go back and find my other one. (Though, feel free to read it and comment on that one, too.)
I'm a freshman in an advanced, college-prep high school, and this has been the source of a lot of stress. I often overwork myself; I am a perfectionist and everything must be done in a certain fashion and finished by a certain time. (I can't stand to do group work with my peers because I can't relinquish that control over my grades and depend on other people to do their work. I don't trust easily.) I have only one friend whom I really feel like I can confide in and she is the only friend that I feel like genuinely likes me. I have other friends, though they seem to simply tolerate me. And, to add on to my pile, last night I made the mistake of saying on my Gmail status that "The world does not revolve around my friends." Because two of my friends, Becky and Hollyn, always act like they are the center of the universe and it had gotten me upset earlier in the day. Hollyn got on like 2 seconds after I posted it, and I assume she called Becky to get on because she was on about
thirty seconds later. They both started saying really hurtful things on their statuses like calling me immature and averting all blame. I got off and texted my best friend, Andrea, and told her not to hate me because they're both really close to her and I knew they would call her and try to get her on their side. I asked her to let me explain my side of the story before she turned her back on me because if she wasn't friends with me anymore, I don't have anyone else. So she texted back and told me that everyone was dumping on her (so I assume they were complaining to her) and basically, I need to deal with it on my own. I fell asleep last night crying. Today at school Hollyn came and sat with me and the two other girls I was eating with, Paige and Celina. And she was nice. But Becky refused to make eye contact with me at all. We sit across from each other in advisory and she just stared up the entire time, even when I asked her a question. And when I was walking to my teacher's room to get my stuff after "Fitness Friday", Becky and Andrea were walking to lunch, Andrea was like 10 yards behind Becky. And Becky ignored me, but then so did Andrea. So I cried in the bathroom and then went to one of my teacher's rooms (she lets us eat in her room) to eat my lunch. Becky usually sits outside so I assumed that's where she would be. But she was sitting in Ms. Rigby's room, so I turned around and left. I considered eating lunch in the bathroom, but I decided that I didn't want to be that weird loner girl who has no friends. I'm going to try, at least. So I went and sat down with Paige and Celina, and Hollyn came a few minutes later. I think things are okay with Hollyn and I, but I don't know about
Becky. And things are okay with Andrea, too. She was laughing and being really sweet during Geography so I think she's not mad. But there's no way to really know. So I basically only have Paige and Celina to lean on, and they seem to be okay with me, but I don't think they think much of me.
As I said on my last post, my step-mom constantly favors my toddler sister over me and I'm still only developing a relationship with my biological mom.
I'm absolutely certain I'm depressed. I just need advice on my friend situation. Please.
Post Edited (Alice_in_Wonderland) : 3/26/2010 8:42:21 PM (GMT-6)