I believe that I have felt and have had issues just as you are having now. I lost my son several years ago, but in a different way: He was my good buddy and my hero - he was called back into the Army and forced to go to Iraq (he had already put in four years honorably). He was hit by a roadside bomb. He came back and was a different person. One month after returning home, he threatened me in our home (he was wearing a loaded Glock .45 when he threatened me).
That totally knocked me out and several months later I couldn't think straight, nothing was fun, and my thoughts just went round and round, stuck in a cycle. I was a walking zombie, no good to myself, nor to anyone. I then went to two Psychiatrists and one Psychologist - they all recommended that I have no contact with my wonderful son, as family members and loved ones are the first to be harmed.
I was on antidepressants for a while, but I have read more than 50 books since then. What I learned is that any physical or mental stress causes us to excrete magnesium. The more the stress, the greater the excretion. Magnesium is required for seratonin and all the other brain regulating chemicals. Severe stress can put us in a "magnesium deficiency shadow" which can last for years (or longer) and will culminate in severe depression, inability to focus or think, personality changes, headaches, cramps, etc. I finally found the right formula. Once I did, my mind cleared up in less than two months, I got off the antidepressants and got myself back in life. I know the the wonderful son I had will never be back and I may never even see him again. But my ability to handle that has totally changed. I feel like my old self, I am productive and happy. I miss my son and am sad for what has happened, but happy for all the wonderful times we had.
The magnesium that really worked for me I found at From all that I read (lots of conflicting information), it appears that the type of magnesium is critical - ionic magnesium which is bioavailable. It worked quickly for me.
Mourning, I hope this is helpful for you. I know how I felt for about
a year and a half and wouldn't wish that on anyone. Good Luck and God Bless You!
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/6/2010 7:34:17 PM (GMT-6)