Well first of all take a breath. Since your grandfather just died you might want to ask your Mom how can you help with the funeal preperations. I am sorry to hear of your loss. Be very gentle with yourself and others.
Unfortunately you are not going to like what I have to say. So hold off on reading this part until your ready. But please understand it is said with compassion, of someone who graduated high school early (17) just to get out of her parents house, and then had to go back in my 20's for two years because I was so sick and injured.
1. You need to figure out what is going on with your instructor, find the path (even if that means going back and retaking stuff) to fix your cert. track.
2. If you are at all living in your mothers house (that means if your gear is there) then you have an obligation to generally follow her rules and help her out. That means mowing the lawn, washing dishes (daily), cook daily, laundry (2-3 times a week), vacuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, etc. After all you are 19, make sure you have actually shown her respect for supporting and helping you way more then she is legally obligated too. She could kick you out on the street with absolutely no legal reprecussions. So while there might be midigating circumstances that I do not know about
my general advice is to stop going out so much (twice a week max and make sure it is not going to interfere with her work sleep schedule) and stop causing your mother more grief (it sounds like she has enough drama with your little sister).
3. Big deal if you are not a Christian, now would be an excellent time to learn when to be quiet about
stuff. Especially when it comes to your grandfathers furneral and burial.
If one of the rules of your Mother's house is going to church every once and awhile chalk it up to part of the expense of living there.
I think that is probably enough for right now.
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I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…