I am having a very hard time. I am not doing so well in school now. My mom moved out of the house. My parents have been married for 20 years. I also moved out of the house, into an apartment with a friend who has a 3 year old and a newborn. So, I am not sleeping so well. I dont have time to study. It seems as though it is my life and I can choose what to do with my time. But, emotionally, I have to be there for my friend and her kids. So, I babysit a lot and help out with the kids. Basically, it is as if I have 2 kids of my own. And a place of my own and trying to go to college.
My class grades are suffering. I am down to a D and C's. I have so much outside stress pounding down on me now I am not sure when it will all finally hit me, but I feel like it is about to hit me really hard and hurt me really bad. I feel like I am a ticking time bomb. I feel like everything is building up and it is just going to hit me when I am not expecting it and knock me down hard. I can feel it happening.
Im not sure what to do... I am not seeing my therapist as much. I dont suppose she knows how things are going and that I need to be seeing her more often now. I had to speak with the director of the student disability support office about all of this. I also have to talk to my advisor at school in the morning. I am trying to spend more time working on school stuff and get my grades up. I need to get my priorities in order, but it is difficult with the kids and my friend, but this is what i have chosen. And I have to continue doing school stuff because I plan on graduating on time, maybe early... and so I can get my degree and get a decent job and so I can start working on my Masters degree as soon as I finish with my bachelors. I want to do them back to back... so I can get done and be able to do more of what I want with more education. Education to me is a continuing process and I plan to learn as much as possible.
I am so overwhelmed and stressed out about home and school and everything. What can I do?? What do I need to do... or should I just talk to my therapist or someone... Im so lost and confused.. I guess thats how I would explain it.. I just dont know what to do.. and Im not sure if I should contact my nurse or doctor about meds or what... I just have no idea what to do at all.
Any suggestions or help?? please.
TRIED: Lyrica (15 months-quit Feb. 09), Paxil (10 months-quit 6-4-09), Cymbalta 6-6-09, Rozerem, Melatonin, Prozac (july 09-feb 10)
Currently taking: Trazodone 50mg, Focalin XR 5mg, Klonopin 1mg, Wellburtin XL 150mg, Lexapro 20mg, Abilify 5mg, Zantac 150mg, Prilosec 20mg
Diagnosed: Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Eating Disorder, ADHD, Dysthymic Disorder, OCD, GERD, Bi-Polar II
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart
no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to
forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"