3 years ago my parents seperated and i now live my dad. when it first happened i was fine and doing really well. it wasnt until about
4 months after that i started to change a bit. it was while i was doing my exams and coursework in school and the holidays after i finished year 9 seemed to have a big impact on my upcoming years. i went from being an average well behaved kid who like most ocassionaly made mistakes and got into trouble, in year 9 to being a complete rebel in year 10. both me and my teachers expected me to get some the grades in my class and i liked it that way because ive always had aspirations. but year 10 started and i seemed to stop. i dropped out of some of my lessons so i could change them to ones that my friends were in so we could chat instead of work. and then about
halfway through year 10 my attendance started to become a problem. i didnt go atleast 3 days each week, instead i would just meet up with older friends and drink and do .then i started to skip weeks at a time. it wasnt until half way through year 11, my final year, that i realised i wasnt helping myself. so i tried my best to catch up as much of the work as possible. it didnt work though i only managed to get one subjects work completed about
75% and the rest of my work ws done poorly and no where near complete. at the end of the year i recieved my results and was extremely disapointed with them. i didnt have any of the right grades to go to college and study games design media which still remains my ultimate dream. during the holiday before i started college, i started to become rebelious again. i went to college oon my first day and decided that i didnt like it. so i left on my break and went home. then i decided id give it another go so about
2 weeks later i went back and managed a full day. but after that i quit and wouldnt have been able to go back until the next year. i assumed that i didnt enjoy it because i was being taught things i had taught myself a few ears previously. so i went to wrok at a fish factory. i realy enjoyed that job, because i knew plenty of people there and it allowed me to go out with friends at weekends without having to borrow money from my dad. but unfortunately i wanted to spend money on and have fun when i was supposed to be working. so ieventually got fired. altogether i worked there for aboyut 6 weeks.i dont know why i stopped going because i genuinely enjoyed it. by the time i got fired from there it was october. i got into a relationship not long before i was fired with a girl i had known since i started year 9. i managed to keep the relationship working for 5 months before i became depressed. in the begining of the next year i ended the relationship claiming that i didnt love her even though i did very much, and still do. the only problem with having a girlfriend during that period was that my emotions were too unstable and i was finding myself getting angry around her fro no reason and in the past i have been known to get angry and start arguements or fights with friend so i was scared incase i hurt her. after that i spent a year doing nothing. i ocassionly left my house to get drunk at a friends or if i ran out of coffee and needed more i would go tp a shop. but in about
september of that year i stopped eating properly and my weight dropped dramatically and my dad started to get worried. i told him over and over that htere was nothing wrong but i dont think he believed me. then in january of this year i had alot too much to drink and ended spending 2 nights in hospital. that really made me realise again that i wasnt helping myself and that my friends and family were being affcted too. since then i have slowly been getting myself back into a normal routine. and i even have a volunteer job at a local magazine which is really helping me.i still havent been to see a doctor though. and everytime i make an appointment i seem to become depressed and unable to leave the house to see the doctor. i know that the best thing i can do is talk to a doctor. i just dont know how to overcome the depression.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/8/2010 3:06:27 PM (GMT-6)