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Depression
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sasukomoko
New Member
Joined : Nov 2004
Posts : 5
Posted 12/24/2004 2:40 AM (GMT -6)
so...for all of those who give a crap and have read my very first post on this forum...just thought i'd update.

i told my parents how i've been feeling; they've been supportive.  I went to a counselor and child development specialist...the specialist prescribed Celexa to me but i haven't taken it yet..i feel for me, it'd be better if i conquered this thing without medicines.  Call me stubborn, but hey, whatever.  my counselor..i stopped seeing.  She made me feel guilty after our first real session, and i wasn't going to deal with that mess.  As of now i have an appointment with a psychologist in January.  So hm. 

i've decided to post again because i think i had been experiencing a panic attack for the last 40 minutes and i needed to get this out...i broke a promise...i hate myself for that.   I promised i'd never...cut....and well here i sit with the red reminders.  Didn't bleed tho, that's good.  Just scratched deep enough to see the tracks the razor left behind.

funny how i talk so nonchalant about this to strangers...i can't say this face to face with anyone..perhaps on the phone..but never in person; their reactions are too painful.  I remember my mom coming into my room, crying, saying it broke her heart to see me like this.  darn did i feel crappy.  Did i mention she's pregnant?  Yes...and for me, an only child, it was exciting news.  For awhile, knowing a new life was coming allowed me to focus on other things other than the inner turmoil that stewed within me.  I don't know where to go from here...don't know if anyone'll read this, don't know if the Admin's gonna edit this post too.  i don't know anymore.

for those of you making progress tho, i applaud you. perhaps someday i may join you on that grand pedestal.  And for all those progressing, God be with you.  For those fallen, and with broken wings, FAiTH...rite? 

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softy
Veteran Member
Joined : Jun 2004
Posts : 798
Posted 12/29/2004 6:07 PM (GMT -6)
Hi  :-)  .  Sooo glad you talked to your parents and that they are supportive.  You may want to try the Celexa though.  Read my post in the "at the end" thread.  I know all about the "weak" feeling of needing anti-depressants.  The Celexa + behavioural therapy from a psychiatrist healped me much.  I have no experience with cutting but it would seem to me that this is a deep rooted issue that can be overcome with help.  I really pray that you find inner peace and can open up to the psychologist.  Just know there are people who care and things will get better :-) .
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