Well, I've now run out of my savings & am going through my retirement account pretty quickly. My temp job ended & there aren't many prospects. To make things worse, I had to turn down a temp assignment in order to interview for a permanent job. I didn't get the permanent job & now I've lost my right to file for unemployment, so I have nothing to live off of.
I don't get along with my parents at all. They are exceptionally critical & set strict rules which basically prevent me from having friends or any sort of a life while living under their roof. I am not allowed to openly practice my faith. I am not allowed breaks from applying for jobs. Basically, I am allowed to apply for jobs (if the internet is working & the computer is free) or spend time with them. I do have a vehicle, but my mom will take my car keys away when I'm sleeping or busy with something & will not give them back for anything. Even though there is no reason, she insists on accompanying me to any appointments, interviews, etc. (probably because she doesn't want to give me my keys back).
I am just starting to get really panicked about the whole situation. I CAN'T go back to living with them. I was so horribly depressed when I had to stay with them before. All I could think about was death. Yes, it is slightly better than the hospital because except for the rare occasion when my mom steals my prescription pain meds, I usually can take my medication (which isn't allowed in any of the psych hospitals around here) but I just don't know how I will survive.
She does permit counselor visits, but only if I allow her to sit in for the whole session & berate me to the psychologist. It's really just a waste of time because the counselor tells my mom to stop being to negative & to stop constantly interrupting me, which in turn causes my mom to blow up & call the counselor an unqualified idiot who is doing nothing to help me become a happy, productive member of society (yes, I realize the irony of her insulting me for not being happy enough).
So I'm just terrified & I'm not sure any of you can even relate, but I'm scared & I'm putting that out there.