Hi there, I honestly sympathise with your situation. I can only imagine a snipit of what you are going through................ and my situation seems so trivial to what yours is!! although I do have/had similar feelings. My husband of 20 years had a relationship with a woman at work and it tore my world apart. I too thought we had the best marriage and family anyone could ever want. Then I found out that he was having this relationship just after our 20yr anniversary. We had a lovely romantic week away and I thought all was bliss. Then the next month, her husband rang me and filled me in on all the details. I was absolutely devestated and didn't even believe this man, how could my darling husband even think of doing anything like this. Anyway, to cut a very long story short............ I had the same feelings as you, hate, anger, dispise, everything you could possibly think of. To make matters worse, my husband and this woman worked at the school my kids and her kids go to (they were not teachers though) and so I was so worried about my kids and what all the other kids would be talking about. She was taken away from the school and put into a phsyc ward for suicide attempts because my husband couldn't give her all the attention she wanted (he told her he still loved me and his family) but that wasn't enough for me. I went through absolute hell and needed to know all the details, don't know if I ever got them. I really wanted to leave him, but didn't want my kids to grow up in a broken home either and also didn't have the resources to support myself and the kids.
That was 3 years ago this week, the only thing that has got me this far is anti depresant - Zoloft and lots and lots of counselling on my own and with my husband. I decided that if I wanted the life I thought I had before, we had to work on it. He realised that if he didn't go to counselling with me and address every single issue that he would loose his family. He didn't want that and so he has worked hard to at keeping it together. We have a new relationship now. I had to say good bye to the "old us" which was heart breaking and start a new life, new relationship and leave the past behind. It is the only way if you want to keep your family together and be happy. Yes there are times when I think about him & her and get really upset, but it is happening less & less when I see what a good life we have now. Please give it a go, talk to your husband and get him to go to counselling with you, maybe try a new pshycologist and start from scratch. I wish you all the luck in the world, and do it for your kids, they need a new start too, as they would be feeling the vibe around you.
Take care, let me know how you get on.
Post Edited (manyembers) : 4/27/2010 2:09:18 PM (GMT-6)