I'm new and I don't know what to do. I think my boyfriend is depressed.

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New Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/4/2010 10:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey guys, I'm not sure if this is the right place for this. I don't have depression, but I believe my boyfriend does, but he won't even consider the idea of it.

He sits around, but has problems sleeping. He feels like he has no energy to do anything. He has REALLY low self esteem and thinks he's a monster and ugly and thinks everyone else is faultless. Nothing that he does makes him excited and he gets bored of everything really fast. He feels worthless to the world like he should be at the bottom of someones shoe. He feels like he's going crazy because he's bored, but nothing makes him happy and he's got no motivation to get up and DO anything to even try and nothing sounds good to him it's hard to deal with because if i mention it he gets all snippy about it and pretty much crawls into a hole. I try not to bring it up too much, I don't want to be a pest or push him away.

I've been trying to be really supportive, telling him he's not a monster and that he's not ugly, which he's not at all, but no matter what I say he won't believe me. I'm trying so HARD to put up with his mood swings and being patient with him and I'm doing really well with it, but lately I'm starting to wear thin. I'm in an intensive program that requires me to be there 7 days a week from 6:30 AM to 5:00 PM for 365 days a year for 2 years and so when I can't spend time with him he falls into an even worse depression and sometimes it gets really bad and I don't know how to deal with it because I'm so tired so I just listen to him and let him say everything he needs to say, to vent to me. And he won't deal with this though, he won't try and seek help because he doesn't believe he has it.

The worst part is I feel like I did this to him. I left home to move to California for this program and he went stir crazy and moved out here after a year of not seeing me and hasn't been the same since I left. I feel horrible. And I love him so I will continue to be there for him and support him, but I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to be more helpful to him, to help him get over this.

What more can I do for him? Please tell me. I want to see the smile on his face again...

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 5/5/2010 3:13 AM (GMT -6)   
hi jamie here.
my pertinant suggestion is to try to get him to a doctor, also you can speak with your hospitals psychiatric triage dept for advice. you yourself need some support, coming here is good, although not professionals we can lend an ear and try to support you both as best as we can. with compassion, jamie.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42501
   Posted 5/5/2010 7:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Honestly, this is something he has to help himself with. You can try to get him to a doctor or to a counselor, but it is up to him to get help. Sorry to say this, but you can not fix it. He needs somebody professional and impartial.

I hope that he gets the help that he needs and soon. For both of your sakes. Be there for him if you can. But if you are wearing thin, you need to think of yourself. Don't let his problems ruin your plans.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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