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New Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/9/2010 4:46 PM (GMT -6)   
i am feeling really down and would love to speak to someone. just need someone to lend an ear.
i am 27 and lost my virginity last year not of my own choice. It was a bad time then and not sure why but began sleeping with other men. i quit that and got on with my life. I met a wonderful man. we have been together for 8 months and decided not to sleep with each other until marriage. but yesterday we did some stuff that was too close.
I know this may seem weird but i feel really down and depressed. last year i felt so depressed and reacted by making the situation worst. i dont want to go there again. we are both quite down about it. but i feel so low. i sometimes wish i could be someone who just moves on and pretends it never happened. but i can't
i dont know if anyone can relate, but i need an ear.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/9/2010 5:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Star2012,

First of all, welcome to the forum. I am glad that you have found us. And you have come to a good place. Where you will not be judged and will be offered sound advice. We all want to support eachother the best that we can.

I am sorry for what happened in the past. That must have been devastating. I am sure that it was a great deal of trauma. But now is the time to put that behind you and move on.

I know that you said that you had a close call last night, but can you look at it as something good instead of something bad. You shared intamacy and that is a special thing between two people who love eachother. It wasn't bad. Embrace it and take things day by day now. Do you plan on getting married soon? Have you set a date?

Don't be down on yourself for what happened. It is hard not to when two people love eachother. Just cherrish the moment and if you don't want to have sex before you get married, maybe don't get into that situation with eachother. In this day and age, it is rare to find people who want to wait. I think it is cool. So I hope that you are able to fullfill that wish and that you two are happy together.

Keep posting. I am glad that you have joined us.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Never Quit
New Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/9/2010 8:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Star and welcome to the forum. It seems as though you and your boyfriend have set a very difficult goal and I admire you both for doing everything you can to achieve it. In every situation, you can take a negative or a positive out of it. For you, the negative is that you came closer than you would have liked but the positive is that you both showed great inner strength in your conviction and stopped. I agree with Karen in that you should probably have a discussion with your boyfriend as to how you can avoid putting yourselves in a situation where that is possible.

Hope this helps.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 5/10/2010 2:04 AM (GMT -6)   
communication is key-and is everything in a relationship. if it is your decision to not have sex before marriage then this needs to be discussed. furthermore you can still be intimate, and just as much without intercourse. all the best, jamie.

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