When you feel you have no reason to be here

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New Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/11/2010 1:42 PM (GMT -6)   
My name is chistana. I am 23 years old. I reside in PA. I am depressed. I just feel like I dont have anyone that I know will always be there for me. I am an orphan but its so hard to trust people i meet with that information because they take advantage. I have so many things built up inside because its so hard to ever reall open up. So yesterday my boyfriend was shot several times, he is in hospital doing ok, but when i arrived at hospital i discover he has been telling me lies the entire time. he has anothe girlfriend who he told he was with me because he felt sorry i am an orphan. what a slap in the face. i felt so betrayed but i didnt want my emotions to over come me. i hugged his mom who knew he was cheating and wished them well. I feel so sad. I dont know what i have done to deserve such treatment from people who i only cared for and loved. I never did ne thing to him. I can only feel but so bad fro him and his condition, after all he didnt get there by being a saint.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 5/11/2010 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi christana, welcome to HW. I am sorry to hear about your situation. You certainly do not deserve to be treated that way. I can't imagine being an orphan, but please know you have found a place of comfort here. Have you been diagnosed with depression from anyone? Do you have any professional support available?

We all know how terrible depression is, and when events like yours occur, it makes it all that much harder. Just know how very important it is to look out for yourself and to take special care of yourself. Talking about it helps. We are here to help so keep posting and hopefully things will improve for you very very soon.

You are not alone :-)   ((Hugs)), Mogs

Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 6 mg/day, Lexapro 10 mg/day  & Lamictal 400 mg/day.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 5/11/2010 2:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christana,

Welcome to HealingWell. I am so happy that you have joined us.

Who told you that your boyfriend was only with you because he felt sorry for you? Him, or his other girlfriend? Did he confess about the other girl? Was she at the hospital?

You are better off without him. It sounds like he is using both of you. And he does not deserve you. I know that you feel hurt. But try to look at it this way. He is the bad person. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a good person and you will learn from this. Just chalk it up to experience and be glad that you didn't get more involved with him. There are a lot of bad people out there, but there are a lot of good people such as yourself. Maybe this was meant to be. That you find out I mean, not that he got shot. And I am sorry for that by the way. But I am more concerned about you. I want you to know that you don't have anything wrong with you. I was adopted, so I can kind of understand what you are going through. It is hard when you don't know your real parents. And you do wonder why the situation had to be so. But all in all, you are a valuable person and you are worthy of love and affection. And you will find it, just not with this guy.

Know that we are all here for you at Healing Well and that we care about you very much. Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on. Are you going to any counseling? You may want to think about it, as I think you could use some good support right about now. Even though you are angry at him, it still was an ordeal that he got shot, so I am sure that is effecting you.

Take care my dear. I hope that you decide to stay with us.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 5/11/2010 10:20 PM (GMT -6)   
hang in there. you do deserve much better, and it will come. hold your head up high. i am a man, and when men behave like this it totally pisses me off!! take care of you. sending healings your way. with compassion, jamie.

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