Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum. My suggestion would be to love her as you do, support her as you are, but maybe counseling would help you to cope and not enable her. A counselor would give you very good advice as to how to deal with everything and the best way to care for your wife. You would get objective advice and much support. That is where I would start if I were you. And I think that you can do this. Knowing that she is going through a lot, you can support her, but I think you need some extra support for yourself too.
Best wishes, keep posting, I am sure that there will be other members on with some advice for you.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies