WHAT TO DO

HI ALL! TODAY IS A BUSY DAY FOR ME. MY HUSBAND IS FINALLY COMIN HOME FROM IRAQ TOMORROW AND I HAVE SO MUCH I FEEL I NEED TO DO. I WANT EVERYTHING ORGANIZED AND I HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR THE WHOLE WEEK. YET I STILL FEEL THAT IT JUST ISNT GOOD ENOUGH. I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS RUNNING THROUGH ME RIGHT NOW. I JUST WISH I COULD JUST BE HAPPY. THERE R SO MANY THINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN THINKING AND HE TRIES TO ASSURE ME THAT NONE OF THEM WILL OCCUR. I AM AFRAID THAT WHEN HE COMES HOME HE WONT WANT TO BE WITH ME ANYMORE. WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 22 YEARS AND I HAVE LOVED HIM FOR MANY OF THOSE YEARS. IT WASNT UNTIL NOVEMBER OF 2002 THAT I HAD TO FINALLY TELL HIM. I WAS ABOUT TO BE MARRIED AND I KNEW I HAD TO BE HONEST WITH MYSELF. SO 6 MONTHS AFTER I TOLD HIM HOW I FELT WE GOT MARRIED. EVERYTHING HAS BEEN GREAT. HE DEALS WITH MY PROBLEMS DAQILY AND IS STILL HERE. HIM AND MY KIDS ARE THE REASON I AM GETTING THE HELP. I DONT WANT TO LOSE HIM BECAUSE HE THINKS I AM GOING CRAZY. IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE I WAS GIVIN HIM HELL FOR EVERY MOVE HE MADE. I HAVE GONE AFTER HIM A FEW TIMES TOO. AND NOW THAT HE IS COMING HOME I HOPE THINGS WILL BE BETTER ON MY END. HE HAS GONE THROUGH ALOT OVER THERE AND I WANT TO BE THE ONE HE CAN COME TOO. I AM SO SCARED THAT HE IS GONNA TURN AROUND AND TELL ME I AM TOO MUCH FOR HIM AND LEAVE ME. I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND I AM TO A POINT. BUT THEN THOUGHTS OF HIM LEAVING ME COME INTO PLAY. PLEASE HELP

First of all, who is he coming home to? Who does he love? You know the answers to that. So, relax! Don't expect alot of either one of you, take things slow. You know I once heard that 99% of what we fear doesn't even happen. It sounds like your the same loving person and he probably is too. As far as your emotional concerns, due the best you can to get better and that will make you feel better as well.

Tara,
Vinny says it all for how he will feel, and that's a man's point of view so it's worth listening to. You don't say if you're on any meds or not. I used to be a screaming banchee, wicked witch of the west-type person before I was medicated... (Still not sure why my dear husband married me...) but since I've been on zoloft that person has disappeared. I'm still a know-it-all, but I'm a nice know-it-all.(LOL!) Take it easy, be kinder to yourself, ask your doctor for an anti-depressant that works and I'll pray for you, a lot!

---

~ Jeannie

"As one goes through life one learns if you don't paddle your own canoe you don't move."
-Katherine Hepburn

AS OF YET I AM NOT ON ANY MEDS. I AM SUPPOST TO GET THOSE ON THE 14TH WHEN I MEET WITH THE DOC AGAIN. SO I GUESS WE WILL SEE THEN HUH? ANYWAY THANK U HE IS HOME NOW AND ALL IS WELL SO FAR. I KNOW WE HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO THOUGH SO I HOPE ITS LIKE U GUYS SAID. ANYWAY TALK TO U SOON