WHAT TO DO

HI ALL! TODAY IS A BUSY DAY FOR ME. MY HUSBAND IS FINALLY COMIN HOME FROM IRAQ TOMORROW AND I HAVE SO MUCH I FEEL I NEED TO DO. I WANT EVERYTHING ORGANIZED AND I HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR THE WHOLE WEEK. YET I STILL FEEL THAT IT JUST ISNT GOOD ENOUGH. I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS RUNNING THROUGH ME RIGHT NOW. I JUST WISH I COULD JUST BE HAPPY. THERE R SO MANY THINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN THINKING AND HE TRIES TO ASSURE ME THAT NONE OF THEM WILL OCCUR. I AM AFRAID THAT WHEN HE COMES HOME HE WONT WANT TO BE WITH ME ANYMORE. WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 22 YEARS AND I HAVE LOVED HIM FOR MANY OF THOSE YEARS. IT WASNT UNTIL NOVEMBER OF 2002 THAT I HAD TO FINALLY TELL HIM. I WAS ABOUT TO BE MARRIED AND I KNEW I HAD TO BE HONEST WITH MYSELF. SO 6 MONTHS AFTER I TOLD HIM HOW I FELT WE GOT MARRIED. EVERYTHING HAS BEEN GREAT. HE DEALS WITH MY PROBLEMS DAQILY AND IS STILL HERE. HIM AND MY KIDS ARE THE REASON I AM GETTING THE HELP. I DONT WANT TO LOSE HIM BECAUSE HE THINKS I AM GOING CRAZY. IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE I WAS GIVIN HIM HELL FOR EVERY MOVE HE MADE. I HAVE GONE AFTER HIM A FEW TIMES TOO. AND NOW THAT HE IS COMING HOME I HOPE THINGS WILL BE BETTER ON MY END. HE HAS GONE THROUGH ALOT OVER THERE AND I WANT TO BE THE ONE HE CAN COME TOO. I AM SO SCARED THAT HE IS GONNA TURN AROUND AND TELL ME I AM TOO MUCH FOR HIM AND LEAVE ME. I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND I AM TO A POINT. BUT THEN THOUGHTS OF HIM LEAVING ME COME INTO PLAY. PLEASE HELP

Tara,
Vinny says it all for how he will feel, and that's a man's point of view so it's worth listening to. You don't say if you're on any meds or not. I used to be a screaming banchee, wicked witch of the west-type person before I was medicated... (Still not sure why my dear husband married me...) but since I've been on zoloft that person has disappeared. I'm still a know-it-all, but I'm a nice know-it-all.(LOL!) Take it easy, be kinder to yourself, ask your doctor for an anti-depressant that works and I'll pray for you, a lot!