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chronic illness that has taken over my life

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Posted 1/7/2005 10:34 AM (GMT -8)
I am new to this forum. I have a chronic illness that has taken over my life and prevents me from doing any of the things I used to enjoy. I have always felt depression but after my wife admitted to having affairs for most of our marriage while I was home sick was too hard to take. I have been in such a severe downward spiral that I cannot see much hope. i am alone and have a hard time finding friends especially since I cannot even leave the house on most days. It makes me wonder whats the point if I am going to be sick 80% of the time and alone forever. This is not a new realization for me. I am strong and I know these feelings will level off some but I cannot face the fact of spending the rest of my life alone and not feeling well. There will probably come a day when I am in desperate need of help and no one will be there. this scares me alot. What if I cannot manage to keep my job due to my illness? Who else would hire me. (i work for myself) Is there any online support groups that have chat rooms 24/7 so I can talk to someone when I;m really down. It would help alot to know I can at least talk to someone/ anyone even if it is online.

I went to a psychologist and she wouldn't listen to me. She told me my physical ailment was in my head and told me she heard enough. This set me back big time. I cannot trust anyone anymore. forget me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to trust your doctor and family?
Posted 1/8/2005 1:31 PM (GMT -8)
You are not alone. We're here for you if you want to talk. What illness do you have that keeps you home 80% of the time? What kind of psycologist tells you there is nothing wrong?

We need more info to try to help
Posted 1/9/2005 9:57 AM (GMT -8)
I have severe IBS and I am currently trying to get it under control. No one really understands what I go through nor believes that its real. I try real hard to keep as healthy as possible but I also have insomnia that keeps me up for days at a time. this is not good for my mental and physical well being. Whenever I am not occupied or distracted I cannot help but think about my problems and agonize over my wifes actions. Unfortunately I do not have many people in my life and I cannot go out and do things because of my illness. I read a book recently that explains you are what you think you are and to reprogram your mind with positive thoughts and tell yourself that everything is good and you are happy. This is helping but my reality keeps preventing me from really believing that I will ever be happy.thanks for listening....

Posted 1/13/2005 12:46 AM (GMT -8)
Hi alone, I understand what you are going through! I have IBS as well i am going through a pretty ruff spot myself. I find that life which is already pretty hard was just about made impossible with this illness. How are your symptoms now what part stresses you the most. Mine has got to be how much time i spend in the bathroom. I find that i am snapping at people all the time or i am off somewhere crying for what ever reason. If you need someone to talk to about this i would have no problem doing that.
Posted 1/14/2005 12:51 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks all. It's good to know I'm not alone. To Angelia101 and helb93, if you could post a day and time I would like to chat on the chat room. Who knows maybe we can help each other. The evenings are best for me.
Angelia101 you sound like me sometimes. I would like to know more about your IBS and how it affects your every day life. I know what it has done to mine and after 15 horrible years I am committed to finding an acceptable balance and some form of acceptance and happiness with my life.

BTW I was using eric1826 in the IBS forum and used alone in this one as I didn't want anyone (personal or work) to know. I don't know what name will post here but I am the same person and I just realized that 2 names is a no no. Sorry about the confusion
Posted 1/15/2005 3:33 PM (GMT -8)
Dear Alone,
I am so thankful for Ralph and the others on this site, they are great and you will enjoy their company so much. I don't get here often because I am in pain a lot with FMS, but you will enjoy it here. My two bits is that as a psychiatry RN of 24 years now, I encourage you to get online and file a complaint with your state board of psyhology about this psychology who told you that IBS is in your head. As you know from your reading on the Internet about IBS, it most certainly is NOT in your head, it's in your GUT! And it's an incredibily disagreeable thing to live with, that the MD's with any skills are taking very seriously these days. Practitioners who do not NEED to be disciplined by their state boards. And YOU need the EMPOWERMENT of doing it. I say go for it. Pammi.
Posted 1/15/2005 5:27 PM (GMT -8)
Hi Alone.  Sorry I missed your chat post.  You are not alone as there are many who go through the same trials as yourself.  Have you been medically diagnosed with IBS?  Do you have IBS C or D?  Are you on anti-depressants?  I also IBS and am on anti-depressants which is why I ask.  These help me cope.  As for your wife, are you working it out?  Best wishes and prayers being sent your way.  Hope to catch you in chat sometime :-) .
Posted 1/15/2005 6:06 PM (GMT -8)
IBSD. I tried antidepressants but the side effects were really bad. i am highly sensetive to all meds and the ones I tried made me a zombie. I have been actively trying meditation and trying to reprogram my mind so to speak that everything is good and think positive all the time. This seems to be working pretty well. I have been able to sleep again (suffered from severe insomnia) and am feeling better mentally anyway. I am not speaking to my wife at the moment. When she told me she was cheating she had a smile on her face and said I had it coming. she hasn't said 1 word to me since. it;s been 3 months since she moved out and not 1 word. I thought we got along well, never argued but she was extremely selfish and never cared too much about my health. She too said it was in my mind. I photocopied a page in a book about IBS that describes what happens mentally and physically to someone with my problem and most doctors don't understand either and gave it to her just so she would understand what I am going through and that its real and she didn't care at all. I don't want or need people like that in my life so I wouldnt want her back but it still hurts. Hopefully I'll talk to some of you on the chats someday. The only one I see thats active is the crohns chatroom.
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