Recognizing I need help...

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Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/24/2010 11:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Was just searching online and found this message board...not sure what I'm looking for here, but I realize talking about things just might help!
So here goes, sorry if it gets long!
I am a 41 year old female, divorced 6 years ago.  My husband got custody of our boys, I get to see them every other weekend...that alone is causing most of my depression I believe.  Other issues, lost my mother, she was 49, that was almost 12 years ago now, also moodiness in my dad for years, could be hereditary?  Moods, attitudes get much worse during my period.
3 years ago, met the most sincere man you'll ever know, who loves me unconditionally.  We lived together for about a year and last week I left him, we've been talking and doing things for the last week, and now I really don't understand completely why I left him!!  I was premenapausal, I know that much!  I feel like at times I love him greatly and then there are times where he completely drives me nuts, he also has a daughter, 11, who I feel is quite spoiled and that makes matters hard also.  We've talked about most of the things that irritate me, but talking about his daughter is hard for me. 
I was let go from my job in Novemeber, not working all winter long was extremely difficult!  Now it's summer and there is more to do, which helps a little, but I need to clear up why I have this moodiness, why things irritate me so badly, why can't I let myself completely love this man, what type of depression do I have, is moodiness and depression related or separate issues.
I realize counseling might help me, but of course being laid off, makes finding the money to do so, very difficult at this point.  Can you suggest some things that might help without costing a lot of money?
Thanks in advance for listening...

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/24/2010 12:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,
Welcome to the forum.  I am so glad that you have joined us, but sorry for the issues going on right now.
Here is a free online site that might help you some.  It is called moodgym.
It has helped many people on this forum. 
It is hard when the spouse has children and they are spoiled.  But that is something that you are going to have to put up with unless you feel comfortable disciplining her.   And I am sure that that is an awkward situation.  But remember that she is just a kid and not mature enough to act in the proper manner.  It takes a lot of time and patience when they are that age.  Maybe you could find things to do with her, just the two of you and grow a relationship.  I am sure that you love her like your own.  And he probably lets her get away with things that he shouldn't to compensate for a split parenthood.
I just reread your post and realized that you did leave your SO.  That must have been hard for you, or was it spontanious?  Are you regretting it now?  Or do you feel that you need the space right now? 
Having a good counselor would help you tremendously right now.  Have you checked into mental health to see if there are any programs that you might fall under?  Or check into the department of Social Services and see if you qualify for any help.  I think that this would be a good option for you at this point. 
And most certainly we are here for you.  We will give you all the support that we can.  Know that we care and are here for you.
Take care my friend.
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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