I'm having a bit of mental breakdown today. It started with the orthodontist basically wiring my mouth shut because of a lower jaw problem I have. I know, this doesn't seem like a big deal, but... I'm trying to OVERCOME my quietness, and this isn't helping me at all! Plus, I've already had ortho work done for two years prior to this, and had to start it back up this year...
I guess my problem is that my doctors are telling me to STAY AWAY from stressors that can cause a relapse (which is what I'm having right now, obviously), but EVERYTHING around me is a stressor! Getting up in the morning is a stressor! Simply calling someone or going to the store is a stressor! I get stressed about everything, and the situation today just reminded me of everything. Not to mention the pain... And the stiffness that I'm already getting in my jaw, making it even harder to talk.
I used to love to sing. I was in a musical last year, and ever since then I've tried to keep my voice strong even though it still got weak because I didn't talk a lot. And now... Now I can't even open my stupid mouth to sing! And I'm supposed to be getting ready for college, and music, of course, is going to be a big part of my life there.
Sorry for this rant.. I just can't stop crying (which is hard to do when you can barely open your mouth), and I'm trying to stay away from being alone with my thoughts. Actually, I'm scared of being alone with my thoughts. You guys don't even have to leave a comment if you don't want to, it's enough just to write these things down.