Hello to everyone here . I just joined in , so not sure of the rules, but here is what I need to share with someone and hopefully I will find some comfort and help.
I 've been very upbeat , happy, optimistic and successful person most of my life. I was the one to give comfort ( and still do) to so many people in need around me , advise, money - whatever they needed. I genualy like people and trough Jesus I learned not to be judgmental , but serve honestly. I've never done ANYTHING BAD to anyone and here I am today - lonely, depressed and with no answers how to get out of it.
The begining of the end was in 2004 when i got engaged to be married and found my fiacee who lived at my house cheating on me on the internet with some ****s. of course that was the end of the engagement and begining of my friendship with Zanax ( very freely offered by my doctor).. Little I knew that this is and addicive drug - i just wanted some temporary releive of the pain in my heart. I refused Paxil ( pure scare).
Kept going and managing my own real estate and mortgage offices until in 2005 huricane Willma destroyed my office and one of my investment properties. Being optimistic I thought I will recover somehow , but declining housing market made the things worst. And I was taking more and more of the "pink solution" to heal my anxiety.. Still, my will to succeed and not give up kept me going.. Pray to God as I always do... and a mirracle happened. I met this absolutely "wonderful" guy - fairytale prince.. Looks like an Ogre , but charming, quite wealthy , who pursued me for months until I found myself in love with him. I lived with him in his mansion, but still maintained my home ( did I mention that he is my neighbour and lives just few minutes away from me?)
To make long story short - i became part of his family and best friend with his sisters ( adorable women) who failed to tell me about the sceletons in his closet. He bacame demanding of my time, told me what to ware, corrected all the time my "poor english" ( I speak 4 more languages) and constantly reminding me that he is a "good man and deserve better treatment" every time when I DARED to expressed my opinion. We were planing to marry when I found out that he was gone this route 5 times before that!! when actually he told me just for 2 marriages. Egomaniatic, controling freak.. one day I just broke free - I had to regain my power and self esteem. Too late. Meanwhile my business was neglected and I lost it , behind my mortgage payments ( my savings were gone) , no work at all , just me and my precious dog. Could not afford to make the payments of my car and thank's to a dear friend avoided a reposession. That was a year ago.
My heart was wounded again, this time quite deeply. Also so called "friends" of mine were not so available, since I was not able to entertain anyone with lavish paries or join them on shopping sprees.
So here I am today - facing foreclosure any day now and even though I KNOW what to do to prevent it I do not have the money to pay for the services, I am still doing real estate with no idea when I will close any of the transactions ( and I make only enough to cover my basic needs) , $400 in my pocket and $500 000 in debt. No one to talk about it and no friend to cry my heart to.
I know there are people with probably more serious issues, but we are our own induviduals with our own struggles and despairs.
I hope to talk with you guys.. at least until they do not disconnect my Internet service or electricity.