Welcome to the forum forgotten angel....I am very sorry to hear about your loss and how you have been treated by the so called medical "professionals". Losing animals is a very serious thing and anyone who is close to you should be able to understand that and be there for you. In no way are you acting unreasonable by being upset because of it, that problem is on him. I also had a time when I traveled and lived in a somewhat random, day to day manner. When you lose all stability you do begin to lose other things as well, not permanently, but they begin to become out of focus. When you are only concerned with survival, and especially when great loss of that kind is heaped on top of it, the parts that you identified as "you", your personality, likes, passions....they begin to get fuzzy. That is happening because of the intense need of your brain to focus on survival and dealing with the traumatic situations it is presently handling. You still have those things, they have gone no where...it has just become difficult to see them in the same light. I would suggest trying to build as much stability as possible, and cut as much stress out of your life as you can (by the sources of the stress). Also your boyfriend needs to understand these things as well and be there for you, that is his place and if he is not filling it, maybe someone else should be. Take some deep breaths, really think about it all...the parts you feel you have lost are not lost, just a bit hard to see. Support is extremely helpful and I am glad that you found your way here. Keep on posting, and just know that you are not alone, we are here to listen and help all we can.