I've only just registered on this site so please be gentle with me! :o)
I'm a 27 year old male who moved to my current city in England 4 years ago after graduating. I left my previous job 2 years ago, which was particularly stressful and I left after suffering panic attacks and being prescripted antidepressants for a month, which, together with my new job helped a lot. Since moving to this city, I have found it difficult to make friends and don't work with people my age. I would also say that I'm quite shy and can sometimes put up barriers when first meeting people and so don't have many friends at all locally.
When I changed jobs 2 years ago I also moved from my own flat (where I felt isolated) into a shared house with another guy, who I get on well with. One month later I also met a girl and we started a relationship soon after. This relationship went very well and I was/am deeply in love with her. We spoke about spending the rest of our lives together and she asked me a few months back to move into her newly bought flat which her family are currently doing up. The last few months things haven't been so great between us (though she didn't communicate her issues with me at the time) and two weeks ago I confronted her and she told me that she had doubts about us, she wanted her independence and wanted some time to think about our relationship. We have spoken since several times and she has never told me that it's 100% over but says she's very confused about how she feels about 'us' and needs time to think. At the same time she has also started a new job and I'm aware that she's out socialising with new people, as she already has a good social network locally.
I have taken this news very badly and it has brought on many of the symptoms that I had 2 years ago: lack of sleep, loss of appetite, difficulty speaking (slight lisping), sobbing daily and feeling very isolated. I struggle to think of anything else apart from her and this is affecting my work. The loss of this relationship has highlighted my extremely limited number of friends locally and social life in general, which I think was one of the reasons that she had doubts about 'us'. I still text her every few days and she usually replies but also keeps saying that we will 'catch up soon'. We both love and care for each other still lots and I would obviously love to get back with her.
I've spoken to some friends about this and they've advised me to give her the space that she needs and to make a real effort to get out there and find new friends of my own. I'm meeting a mate I used to work with tomorrow night and am also meeting some old friends during the next few weekends. However, at the same time I don't want her moving on or forgetting about me, which I think may happen. I also want to make the point to her that I am making a real effort socially and that us getting back together would enhance her social life and would also allow her to have a good time with my new friends. Again, I think this was an issue previously. I want to impress her with what I'm doing now and to ensure her that I've made good changes but this is hard to do without making contact with her.
I've not spoken to my doctor about my symptoms and am not sure whether I should do or whether I need counselling of some kind? I would also welcome any comments about the relationship or how I can prevent these symptoms reoccuring in the future?
Thank you for listening.