IT IS A SAD WORLD WE LIVE IN- When you realise you could dissapear of the radar for weeks perhaps even months before anyone became concerned for your safety.When the police would eventually notify your family of your absense not the other way around. Where they would be able to offer no insight as they don't bother to keep in touch. They are too obliviously involved in their inner family sanctom to think about the well being and emotional health of anyone else.
Your friends may notice the lack of response to txt but it would not raise immediate concerns, It is not the first time that it has taken a while for you too respond, lives are so busy.
You can go weeks without actually hearing the spoken words of anyone but tele markerters, debt collectors and govt organisations.
Where people can die in their homes and lie there alone for years without anyone noticing, because their bills get paid automatically. Where were their families? Where were the people they connected with over their lives the ones they loved, they bore and raised or those whos lives they touched, when their final moments came. Fancy hovering over your own body indefinately waiting for just 1 person to shed a tear for you. Too bad if you had unfinished business to take care of before you could rest. How do you make an appointment with someone when your dead whom in life was too busy to notice that you were alive and struggling.
I feel so disconnected with the world as if I am just watching the lives of others on TV and not actually connected with them by flesh, blood and friendship. It is no ones fault really or maybe it is I don't know. It is easy to get distracted and lose track of time.
I hate where I live with no support network, family or friends at hand, in my Family Court imposed barless cell.
I hate who I have become. I no longer even bother to try as no one seems to notice either way.
Its like the old addage- If a tree falls deep in the woods, Does it make a sound? Make all the noise you like but if no one is listening did a whispered word even pass your lips?
Does anyone feel like this?- How do I move beyond this when it is true, that after 38 years of being a honest, caring, giving human being I now sit here alone, disconnected and lost.