I'm myjoy - a funny name for a depressed person, but I try to find joy in all things. I usually hang out in the fibro area, but it was suggested to me, by getting by, that I check out this forum also. I have been lurking around here for the past few days, and it looks to me like you are all very supportive of each other. Guess I would like to join in the group.
A little about my situation - I started with a bad case of religious OCD when I was 23. I was so bad off with depression and anxiety that I was hospitalized at a university hospital for 6 weeks. I was pregnant with my 2nd child at the time, so all they could do was give me shock (ECT) treatments. No meds. Since I had a very abusive childhood, the doctors focused on that, so I went on like this for 8yrs, until I was finally diagnosed properly and got the therapy I needed from an expert in OCD. He said mine was one of worst cases he had ever seen. During those 8yrs, I was hopitalized several times.
I did well on therapy, though it was very difficult to do. Now I barely think about the OCD thoughts. But.....I never have seemed to get over the depression from that event. I am now 47, and have been hospitalized many times over for depression. I just got out of the hospital 2 weeks ago with another bout of this nasty thing. The things that can set off my depression may seem silly to some, but it usually has to do with a perceived problem that I may have with a friend or family member. Most usually friends, as I have a good supportive husband, and my adult married kids have come to terms with my disorders. It was hard for them to grow up with a mom who very often was in the hospital when they came home from school. It was scary for them, and it affected them.
Anyway, I get a horrible feeling that I've done something wrong in a friendship, and it sticks in my head, and I go into a dark abyss within a couple of days. And there is no coming out of it until I get intense treatment at a hospital. I am on several meds, as you can see from my signature. I have off and on gone to counselors for 25yrs. I am seeing a new one now. I like him - he's been around a while and seems to understand my condition. I also have fibromyalgia, so I am in pain everyday, and always tired. I am unable to work since I got fibro in 2007 (trying to get SSD), although I used to work on and off between hospitalizations. Often something would happen at work, and I would end up in the hospital from the stress.
Well, that's my story. Sorry it's kinda long. I guess I just need folks who understand depression. I hope with all my years of suffering with this, I can be of help to others here as well. Thanks for listening.
, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.
fluoxetine (prozac), welbutrin, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.