So, I can't help but wonder about this...
A lot of people are affected by depression because they have gone through tragic events leading up to it. But ...what if you're affected by...the littlest things?
Things that shouldn't make you cry, but they do.
I feel as though the littlest comment a person will say to me now makes me feel as though I'm going to cry at any given moment and that life isnt worth it. My friend will ignore me for a girl at school who's like "perfect" and i feel lonely and stupid.
Its like things come at me, and my brain filters it to be bad. I dont think my brains doing the right thing. I think its doing the wrong thing. And i dont know why its doing that...
Like...i get really sad when my best friend and this new girl will decide at lunch to isolate themselves from me so that they can talk about things i "cant handle"...watever the hell that means.
And sometimes...when girls at my school want to talk to each other by themselves...they'll look at me and say "Um...can u leave?? Like now?" and immediatly i feel like i do nothing in this world thats important...and dont need to be here.
Just the littlest things can make me feel like i need to be out of this world...cuz people dont need me. Why am i like that?? I know I'm a teenager, and lots will think its a high school phase but... how long is a phase??. I'm in need of so many answers and i cant get any...
I feel like nowadays because i cant be of any use of people, i try and volunteer. Which is a good thing rite? But...im volounteering for it because subconcsiously i feel like i want to do something in this world that useful if im gonna be stuck in it. Not because i find it exciting...because i cant be of any use to my own friends, my own family...anyone.
But getting back to the point...why are the littlest things...bothering me?
-Please leave some comments
Suzy Nell <3