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Posted 1/12/2005 5:00 PM (GMT -8)
I feel like I'm craving something.. I feel empty, down, and worthless. My obsession towards not only perfection, but also attention has led me here.. "Here" is a place in the depths of my mind where I just sit, and think, and cry.. all in attempts to releive myself from this constant torture- the torture of hate, the torture of being alone. Tomorrow, I will wake up and repeat myself again, only to come home at the end of the day hoping for that something to fill me up inside
Posted 1/12/2005 10:27 PM (GMT -8)
No one is worthless. I learned from my own experience that craving attention for me meant I was not happy being with my own skin. I read a book that also helped me tremendously. "what to say when you talk to yourself" by Shad Helmstetter, ph.d. Basically it teaches that when you fill your mind with negative thoughts and images then that is what will be programed and it will happen. I tried constantly to fill my thoughts with positive images of myself and my life. Stopped watching negative tv and music. It is helping me alot. reprogram your mind by telling it all day long that life is good and I am happy. Only focus on your strengths and everyday make a list of only the good things that you did or that happened to you. Believe me it works.

Stay strong. things do change...
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