Hi Korissa, I am so glad to hear from you again. I understand what you are feeling about
this friend who does not reciprocate and leaves it up to you to make the calls. It's kind of hard to know what to do. Do you want to risk losing her as a friend and the social interaction or is she what could be called a fair weather friend. If you feel you will not miss her company than it is worth seeing if she contacts you next. I know I have never been one to call and then expect a friend to be the one to call next. I have always felt if I wanted to talk to someone then I do call.
If she is not showing interest in you and what you are doing then I think I would wait and see if she calls. You say that she lost her husband, the love of her life. I wonder just how happy she really could be. If she has no children and doesn't have many friends I can't imagine she feels much hapiness. But it is hard to judge what others are thinking if they don't express their feelings. But if you feel she is not a true friend then let it go if you are comfortable with this.
You mentioned your sister and how busy she is. You said she is not aware that you need her support. Are you close with her and do you have good conversations? I think it may be time for you to sit her down and tell her how you are feeling and that you would enjoy her company more and that you need her to help you emotionally. Maybe she fills up her time because she is actually feeling a void in her life. Do you have any other family?
Also, I wonder if you have thought of volunteering or doing some type of activity where you can meet people. I don't know if that is your thing but getting involved with just one activity may be a start for you. You are right, I do have my sons for comfort and support but they are not available to me as often as I would like especially on weekends. And since I no longer have a job I have had to really try and put myself out there and do things. I have signed up for classes, volunteer work, am going back to church and just joined a new support group which is very comforting. I never thought I would be able to do these things but the whole summer stretched out in front of me was frightening to me and I literally forced myself out and signed up for things to do. It has started to ease the sadness when I return home. I try to stay out until close to dinner time and then I am busy fixing myself something to eat and going through the mail. And I do have my sweet little poodle. Do you have a pet?
I am just trying to see if I can give you some suggestions to help you. The hardest part of doing something is the resistance you feel to get yourself going and out of the house. After you do it the first time it gets easier each time. I hope I have helped in some way and want very much to hear from you again.
You are in my prayers. dear Korissa. Please take care of yourself.