When a kid (I don't care their gae, they are still kids to me) "writes off" parents for whatever time it takes them to come around, I think the Mom in particular goes through a tough time grieveing the loss of contact with their kid, and to make matters worse, they are at a loss of what to do to restore the relationship. Unfortunately, sometimes it is a very painful waiting time. I don't usually say negative things about other counselors, but I really do think you got some bad advice to tell your daughter about your depression, because she seemed to take it wrong. I am glad you are back in counseling, but the very few visits you have don't seem like enough. Is that because of insurance or a goverment health plan?? I wouldn't expect your new counselor to give much advice on the first visit because hopefully, he was getting to know you first. I know your hysband is super, but doesn't understand your depression and being a guy, he probably won't totally understand where you are coming from. But you can lean on him for what strength he has, and try to focus a bit on your relationship with him. He is there for you....just doesn't know how to help you. Have you talked with him about ways he can help??? Maybe sometimes you just need to talk or vent, and he needs to know he doesn't have to fix it for you....all he needs to do is listen. Men always want to fix problems and sometimes they just can't fix it for you, but that doesn't mean you have to suffer in silence.
Since you have a limited amount of counseling visits, write down the points you want to cover in each session. If you were in my office, I would focus on you and your pain. Try to help you cope better with a bad situation. You need to talk about your sadness and depression. The counselor cannot reunite you with your daughter, but can maybe give you help in preparing for the day you are reunited. Depression can be so bad, pulling you down to the point it dominates your life. You have to fight that. You are not a bad Mom and probably never were. But it easy to feel guilt and many other emotions when kid separates and cuts you off. I am sure she is going thru some sort of emotional crisis herself and hopefully she is seeking counseling, too. I told you (I think) that my brother's son wrote the entire family off about a year ago. My brother and his wife went to 3 different pdocs, who all said the same thing. That they would have to wait for him to come around and any pressure on him would drive him farther away. It is killing them to just "sit and wait". They don't even know for sure why he wrote them off....it is breaking their hearts. But I really think their son will come around...when he is ready. My husband tried to intervene by calling their son at his work....well. that was a total failure since he hung up on my husband as soon as he realized it was "uncle Chuck" calling. There is nothing I can say to make this OK for you, except I understand your pain and depression, and I personally would be devastated if one of my sons wrote me off.
Yes, my paramedic son almost had a nervous breakdown when the call came in for our address. I guess he drove the ambulance like a maniac. However, when he arrived here, he walked into the barn where I was and very confidently said "so, what's up, Mom? Looks like we need to get you to a hospital." He nay have faked the confidence, but it sure helped my state of mind!!!! I give him a run for his money. Not too long ago, I called him on his cell, and he could not understand a word I was saying. (I don't even remember calling him). He was too far from home, so he called 911.
Turned out my lithium had gone toxic....my poor son thought I had had a stroke. He is definitely a "caretaker". His fiance has been very sick with an autoimmune disease and the prognosis is not real good, but he seems to take it all in stride.
So, exactly where do you live?? Have you always lived there?? I take it from something you said, that it is now your winter. And of course, for me, I am in the heat of summer.
Talk to you later...lots of hugs
Bi-polar I; rapid cycler; Lithium 600
Requip XL 8mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg